Coaching with Heart: Connection, Authenticity, and Overcoming Self-Doubt
The Inner Work of Coaching: Building Alignment and Sustainable Success
Coaching is more than just a profession—it’s a journey of personal and professional transformation. For Lauryn Girgenti, founder of Laurintium, the transition from corporate life to coaching brought unique challenges and profound insights. In a recent episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, Lauryn shared her story and unpacked the lessons she’s learned along the way about authenticity, alignment, and building a sustainable business.
Whether you’re a seasoned coach or just starting out, her perspective offers valuable strategies for navigating the ups and downs of the coaching industry.
From Corporate to Coaching: A Leap of Faith
Lauryn’s journey into coaching wasn’t a straight line. After a successful career in consulting, she faced a significant life transition when her husband’s job relocated them to the U.S. The pandemic added complexity to her path, creating unexpected obstacles and ultimately inspiring her to start her coaching business.
“I kind of fell into my business,” Lauryn explained. “But looking back, I realized it was the exact shift I needed to begin aligning my work with my values and my authentic self.”
The transition wasn’t without its hurdles. Lauryn shared how navigating imposter syndrome and redefining her identity became key elements of her early entrepreneurial journey.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Cognitive Dissonance
Starting a coaching business often means leaving behind the comfort of roles, titles, and routines that once defined you. Lauryn described how she struggled to reconcile her past accomplishments with her new role as a coach.
“I realized I was disqualifying myself based on my own insecurities,” she shared. “It wasn’t until I reframed my thinking and embraced my experiences as assets that I began to truly step into my power as a coach.”
Lauryn credits much of her growth to her commitment to personal development, describing how she learned to quiet the inner critic and embrace a mindset of experimentation and self-compassion.
The Importance of Inner Work
Coaching is a field rooted in relationships, and Lauryn emphasized that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
“There’s no substitute for doing the inner work,” she said. “Your self-awareness, self-talk, and ability to navigate disappointment directly impact your ability to connect with clients and deliver meaningful results.”
Lauryn’s approach to inner work includes mindfulness practices, self-reflection, and regular investment in personal development programs. “It’s not a one-and-done process,” she explained. “The work evolves as you grow, and it’s what keeps your business aligned with who you are.”
Authenticity Over Perfection
For Lauryn, one of the most powerful lessons she’s learned is that alignment is more important than perfection.
“I used to think I had to follow someone else’s blueprint to succeed,” she said. “But what I’ve learned is that what works for someone else might not work for me—and that’s okay. The most important thing is to stay true to who you are and how you want to show up in your business.”
Lauryn’s decision to tailor her coaching process to reflect her unique strengths, such as building deep relationships with clients, has been key to her success. She now runs a thriving referral-based business, a testament to the power of authenticity and alignment.
Building Meaningful Relationships
Relationships are at the heart of any coaching practice, and Lauryn believes that creating genuine connections with clients is essential.
“Clients don’t want to be treated like transactions,” she said. “They want transformation. And that starts with understanding who they are as people.”
Lauryn emphasized the importance of being fully present with clients, listening deeply, and creating a safe space for them to explore their challenges and goals. She also highlighted the value of connecting on a human level, sharing personal stories, and being vulnerable.
Sustainability Through Growth and Experimentation
As Lauryn’s business grew, she realized the importance of balancing structure with flexibility. While systems and strategies are essential for scalability, Lauryn believes that true sustainability comes from staying curious and open to experimentation.
“Business is a journey of continuous improvement,” she said. “You have to be willing to try new things, learn from the data, and adapt. Complacency isn’t an option.”
For Lauryn, this iterative approach has helped her refine her coaching offerings, better serve her clients, and build a business that reflects her values.
Lessons for Coaches: Lauryn’s Top Three Tips
Lauryn shared three key lessons for coaches who want to thrive in the industry:
Invest in Personal Development: The journey of coaching is as much about your growth as it is about your clients. Never stop learning and evolving.
Prioritize Alignment: Focus on what feels authentic and aligned with your values, rather than chasing perfection or following someone else’s formula.
Build Real Relationships: Coaching is about connection. Take the time to truly understand your clients and meet them where they are.
Final Thoughts
Lauryn’s journey from corporate life to coaching is a powerful reminder that the path to success is rarely linear. By focusing on authenticity, alignment, and personal growth, she’s built a business that not only serves her clients but also reflects her values and vision.
Whether you’re navigating a career transition or looking to deepen your impact as a coach, Lauryn’s story offers a wealth of inspiration and actionable insights.
To hear more about Lauryn’s journey and her advice for coaches, listen to the full episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show.
Connect with Lauryn Girgenti
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lauryngirgenti
Website: www.laurintium.com
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🎙️ Podcast: Dive deep into success strategies with The Amanda Kaufman Show. Listen here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-amanda-kaufman-show/id1450993176
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Full Transcript:
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (00:00)
all of a sudden you find yourself in a new space and
Amanda Kaufman (00:03)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (00:03)
you're not immediately successful and like you don't get things right all the time. And like you're in that space of now having to build conscious competence to before you even get to like the level of unconscious competence in a new space. That voice is vicious, right? And I think...
You know, from a psychology perspective, it's that cognitive dissonance, right? We hold these beliefs and thoughts about ourselves, but then our actions and the results are different and navigating that. that, and that inner voice, that inner critic can be so nasty. But I think, you know, when we, like when we started our careers, you know, when we, when we started walking as kids, when we fell over.
We weren't like, nini-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni at ourselves. Like we got up and we tried again. And I think that's what we forget, you know? Even if you're the most experienced coach, there's still stuff that you're going to be learning for the first time. You know, you're constantly going to be experimenting with new things.
Amanda Kaufman (01:22)
Well, hello and welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. And we are continuing our series on the coaches that don't suck. So as I was going through my list of friends on the social media, I had to invite my friend Lauren. So Lauren is the founder and coach at Laurentium and she helps mid-career professionals reclaim their careers and build extraordinary lives.
with over a decade in human capital consulting and change management, including at Deloitte. She blends strategic coaching with organizational psychology. She is so smart. Okay, so Lauren has guided clients across four continents through career transitions and promotions using science-backed methods to transform professionals into leaders and change makers. Hello, Lauren, and welcome to the show.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (02:14)
Hello, hello, thank you for having me.
Amanda Kaufman (02:17)
my gosh. So here's why I had to invite you. Every time I see Lauren at an event and I've seen her at many events, we were in a mastermind together for a while. She was, she really stood out for me because she was one of those people that was like, make eye contact. Hello. You know, I had a lot of people would be like, Hey Amanda. And they would like wave, but Lauren was like, Hey, you know, she was so excited to see me.
And we sat next to each other, we took notes together, we were high-fiving through the experience together, and of course that led to dinner a few times. And Lauren is one of the smartest people that I have been at those seminars with. It's just such a pleasure to have you here. I'm glad you were here.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (03:00)
I am glad to be here. Honestly, it's so funny you say that because there's been plenty of times I'm like, I'm not smart enough to be sitting with Amanda. And it's interesting, right, how we like disqualify ourselves, yet other people have a completely different impression and perspective.
Amanda Kaufman (03:16)
Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. And like, I'd love to unpack that a little bit too. You know, we as coaches, we have to relate and we have to connect with people on a really regular basis. so I noticed like when I even was reaching out to people who were wanting to, they're promoting their business, you know, they're online. But when I reached out and I said, hey, do you want to be on a podcast? They were a little reticent, a little hesitant.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (03:21)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (03:46)
And I had a little bit of back and forth with you, because you were like asking me the smart questions as you should, to just like make sure it was a legit experience. And I think that that is contributing a lot to our experience as coaches these days is like, who can you trust? What's their agenda? Are they really here to help? All that kind of thing. So I'm really curious is my first question. Like, what is your impression?
of the state of the coaching industry today. We're in October 2024. What are your thoughts?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (04:18)
Yeah. You know, I think when I think about my experience coaching people, it's, very similar to what you said. think a lot of people that are our clients are just like the market feels saturated. You know, it feels like it's saturated with so many different coaches for so many different things. We're hearing more and more about coaching, which I think is really, really exciting. I think as we're seeing, you know, the world develop particularly with, you know,
technology advancements, coaching is just going to become more and more important and more and more powerful. I truly do believe it's going to be a catalyst in so many places and spaces, but I do think there is that sort of hesitancy that people have because they're tired of being
hitched to or sold to like a transaction when what they're really seeking is transformation and I think you made a good point and I'd say it's probably the only natural talent I have as a coach is that relationship, that connection and that's not something that you know...
you can really get to a depth with when you're just focused on the sale and the pitch and what you want and what you need rather than really tuning into the person and understanding where they're at.
What do they need? Like, and it's not about, you know, marketing, hear all about pain points and this, that pleasure points and all that jazz, but it's like, just who are they as a person? You know, I've had more conversations with people about their kids, their cats, their holidays, you know, like it's got nothing to do with the context of this space that we work in, or maybe where they need a solution or change. It's just human beings. And I think the world is craving that more and more, especially as we're seeing more AI come in. And I think that's exactly what
Amanda Kaufman (05:34)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (06:04)
where it's at for coaches as well, we're being really called to that high level of human connection.
Amanda Kaufman (06:11)
I really love this. It's so funny because as I reach out to people and I'm seeking connection and I've got a very open mind about what a relationship could be.
That's definitely evolved from when I was an earlier, you know, stage coach. When I was earlier in my business, it was very like black and white. Are you a client? Are you not a client? And, you know, one of my natural talents is definitely a hyper focus, you know, it comes with the not so focused, right? It just it.
It's something that I've definitely evolved into understanding is like, my gosh, know, building a business, especially a service based business, it really is about building a lot of different kinds of relationships. So, you know, you're going to need, yes, clients, obviously, but also collaborative partners, also people that are going to be referrals, also people that are going to provide services to you. Also, you know, like friends, just friends.
You know, like what a pleasure to be able to just go to dinner and talk about what we saw at an amazing seminar experience. And, you know, I think I think one of the things that freaked me out as a new coach was actually that relating. So if you were to like mentor somebody or tell them, you know, how do you just like chill and let a relationship unfold? What would you say are your top three tips?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (07:33)
I'm actually gonna go a little... I think the first relationship is relationship with self. Because I think we're getting in our way so much and we're projecting so much of what we don't have or where we feel lack in other relationships onto external circumstances, onto other people, you know. Yet it's ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves. So that would be the first thing. Like...
Amanda Kaufman (07:38)
there it is.
Hmm.
So good.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (07:59)
I will say it, you know, I think a lot of coaches started a business and then realized, my goodness, like we're on a just hyper intensive personal development journey. And it brings up so much stuff. And it's like you, there is, there is no substitute for doing that work on yourself. And that includes the relationship you have with yourself. Cause if that's not good, how are you going to go in and be in relationship with other people and be good? You know, it's.
Amanda Kaufman (08:26)
my gosh, yes. Yeah.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (08:28)
Like the judging, the comparing, the imposter syndrome, like comparison trap, like all of those things are gonna come up if you're not good with self. So that would be the first thing and I think that's been one of the most unexpected gifts. Like I thought that I had a pretty good relationship with myself but then when I look back I'm like, my goodness, you didn't even know. You feel what I mean? Like you were so unaware and so ignorant to all of these things and not by choice but you just, you don't know what you don't know. That would be my first tip. My second tip
Amanda Kaufman (08:55)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (08:57)
is is you know particularly because we've had you know that time in the last few years where we've all been at home we've all been virtual I'd say one of the other biggest things
is putting yourself in the room, like getting back out into in-person. Because the relationships that you can build, like we talked about it, the difference between having a conversation on Zoom versus us going to dinner and having a chat, you know, like getting to be in the energy of someone in person is very, different to virtual. I will say I'm a big supporter of both, but you've got to put yourself in the room. And I see a lot of coaches where then, not even just coaches, but the people
that I coach that are in the corporate space they don't put themselves in the room so it's like if you're not there how do you expect to build relationship how do you expect to connect with people and then I think my word yeah
Amanda Kaufman (09:53)
Yeah, that's such a great point, you know, speaking as a coach based out of suburban Fort Worth, right? Like it is taking a tremendous amount of intention, both virtually and in person to get in the room because otherwise I'm, you know, in a big house in, you know, suburbia, right? Like how do you connect, right?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (10:17)
Right? And I think so many, like particularly in this space that I'm playing in, you know, there's that paradigm where people think, my employer should be giving me these opportunities and they should be paying. And it's like, that's not the world we're living in. Like, we have more access than ever before to put ourselves in rooms, whether it's virtually or in person. But we're making choices that keep us from accessing them.
and we're blaming a lot of other circumstances and it's like, well, come back to that relationship with self.
Amanda Kaufman (10:45)
That's interesting.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (10:51)
Like what's that belief, that mentality, that paradigm that you're holding onto that's actually, you know, prohibiting you from being somewhere you want to be that you know you need to be, that could be the difference that makes the difference. So that would definitely be a big one. And I'd add to that having an intention when you go into the rooms, you know, I think that's been something that's changed my experience getting into rooms is going in with
Amanda Kaufman (10:51)
Mmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (11:17)
an openness and a curiosity, also sitting with myself and going like, what's my intention for this time? What do I want to get out of it? Because if you can set your intentions, it's going to change how you show up in the room. So for me, my intention and why you and I connected is I want to meet new people.
Amanda Kaufman (11:37)
Mmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (11:37)
And if I don't set that intention, it's so easy to go in there and sit in my seat and stay in my comfort zone and not go and ask the questions and have the conversations. And that's another thing that I've observed a lot with coaches and clients alike. Even when they get in the room, then they sort of falter at that next hurdle where it's like, well, I'm in the room, but now what do I do? I've got to talk to people. Like, how do I connect? And that probably leads me to my third point, which is just be who you are. That is something I'm going to say.
Amanda Kaufman (12:05)
you
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (12:07)
You know, I look to you for this because in all of your content and all of our conversations, I meet the exact same person. You are real as real and you're human. It's not...
any like facade or bolster or anything it's just I get to meet Amanda and I get to hear Amanda I get to hear her points of view I get to hear what she's thinking that day there's no trying to be something that you're not there's a level of authenticity that really shines through with you and I think that's
really, really important, only going to become more important. I know authenticity has been that buzzword and whatnot, but I think a lot of coaches try to be what they think they need to be. It's the same with the professionals I coach. They're going into interviews and they're trying to be what they think that hiring manager wants them to be. And it's like, your greatest asset.
is you being you. So like own that and step into that and step from that place, lead from that place, rather than just like letting all that noise kind of cloud the essence of who you are.
Amanda Kaufman (13:00)
Mm-hmm.
Well, and I really appreciate you, you know, calling out some of my presence and my behavior. And I remember being in the early, early days of my business and being so scared that I didn't physically look like a lot of the really successful coaches. I had more children than a lot of the really successful coaches. You know, I was more of a woman than a lot of really successful coaches. like, you know, Lady Gaga has this song and it's, you know.
called A Million Reasons. Like there's a million reasons for me to go, but there's really just one good reason for me to stay. And I think about that song an awful lot when it comes to being more visible and like making the choices about your visibility because even if you are being very authentic, I think you're right, that word kind of gets thrown around. But what does it really mean? And I've been working with my
clients on getting much deeper into well what does that mean because sometimes coaches will take you know their desire to have high integrity and desire to have high authenticity and they'll reject the very steps or tasks that would allow the visibility that they are there that they are of service and all of that and then and the this the cited reason is because well I don't want to be inauthentic so you know
I wanted to come back to you like the personal development journey side of things. What have you, what would you say has like been one of your top developments that you had to make personally in order to show up as a coach who doesn't suck today?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (14:53)
I would definitely say like, and I think about it and I, you know, what a lot of people don't know is that me starting my business wasn't exactly like an intentional choice. I was in Australia, I was working for Deloitte and then my husband got the opportunity to transfer to the US and you know, pandemic hits, all sorts of chaos with working rights. And so I kind of fell into my business.
And I was at a point in my life where I'm now coaching the people that I was back then. Someone who felt really dissatisfied and dischanted, lost, stuck, stagnant, all the things in the career. And I had no idea when I made the decision to start a business that, as like someone with a background in psychology, yeah, I'm just lifting the lid on the next level of work, right? But for me, I think...
Amanda Kaufman (15:40)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (15:43)
You know, you talked about the authenticity and the visibility, right? And I remember being back then going, like, just the identity shifts of, well, I was a consultant and I was a psychologist and there's all these labels, but now I'm a coach. And for a really long time, I felt like I had to shut those pieces off.
because I'm no longer that anymore and rejecting those aspects of myself and all the beautiful gifts that come with them because now I'm a coach. That was definitely one of the the personal, probably one of the most intense personal things I went through was well who am I? Like and what am I? And
Amanda Kaufman (16:20)
Mmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (16:23)
As you said, like digging into that, what's authentic? Because I felt so lost. wasn't, there was plenty of people that had a background in psychology that were coaching, but similar to you, I'm going into coaching training and I'm the youngest person in the room. And I didn't get to the heights in my corporate career that a lot of people get to before they make the decision to go, all right, well now I've learned enough and I'm going to go and coach. So for me, it was this identity and imposter piece that was probably the biggest personal.
development that I had to go through and it lasted a long time. Like it wasn't like...
Amanda Kaufman (16:58)
I think that that's a very relatable concern, know, like in I continue to mastermind, I continue to get coaching myself. And, you know, I'm often talking to people who have like, I don't know, played in the NBA, you know, they've they've had like these really incredible and frankly, somewhat unrelatable to me life experiences that it's like, well, of course you're qualified to be an amazing high performance coach. I mean, you're elite. You've done all of these things. And so I found myself like really ready.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (17:11)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Amanda Kaufman (17:28)
to give credit to people who done really impressive and amazing things. And I struggled with giving myself credit, you know? And it wasn't until a few years ago, I was chatting with one of these coaches who was just starting out, just kind of figuring things out. And it hit me and I'm like, my God, I figured all of this stuff out already. You know? And there was just like this click moment and I was like...
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (17:38)
Yes.
Yeah, it is. It's it's that moment,
Amanda Kaufman (17:54)
I'm not a beginner anymore.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (17:57)
Well, alright.
And I think that's a good point, right? Like time is going to pass either way. And if you just stay in motion and you keep showing up and you stay committed to doing the work, then eventually that time is going to pass. And before you know it, you're going to have that moment where you look back and you're like, my gosh. Like I remember when I started in this space, like I'm coming from consulting, academia background. Like you asked me to write a lit review. I could do that. I wouldn't even think twice about it.
Amanda Kaufman (18:05)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (18:29)
Then I go into a space where it's like, you're starting a business. You're starting a business in a foreign country that, you know, you've just landed in. I'm like, what am I thinking? And then digital marketing, which I knew nothing about. And I'm like, I look back now and it's only been four years. And I'm like, I knew nothing then. Now I'm like, I don't even know how I know as much as I know about this stuff, but it happens because you stay in the process. You stay emotion and.
Amanda Kaufman (18:56)
You gotta stay in the game. Yeah, yeah.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (18:59)
Yeah, exactly. And I think it's interesting. I remember those two statements that people said to me that changed, just helped me shift how I kind of thought about things. I was really frustrated one day because it was that sense of how can I help people that I haven't got to the level they got to. And my husband just looked at me, he's like, have you ever considered
that you had to go into corporate and work the years that you did and have the experiences that you had and that you've been gifted the ability to see things that are broken and wrong and where the paradigm just continues to suck.
And that that perspective is what's going to make you such a powerful coach. Cause you understand it and you've seen it yet. So many people are going to work and they don't see it and they're trapped in it. I was like, he has a point. And then the second statement was another gentleman who has like built a very, very successful business. He's not a coach per se. He's a financial advisor. And he just said to me, he's like, you know,
Do you think Michael Jordan's coach played basketball as good as him? And I'm like, well, no, duh. Cause if he did, he'd be on the team. He wouldn't be the coach. Like, what kind of question is that? He's like, that's my point. He's like, you don't have to be as accomplished or as successful as the people that you coach. You need to know how to make them.
get the best out of themselves to help them have those unlocks and when he said that to me I was like my gosh like I'm completely overthinking this coaching thing and I'm so caught up in self rather than focusing on them and just understanding how do I help them get to their next unlock which with my background I'm pretty qualified to do even if I didn't want to recognize it so it was about them bringing back
those identities back in. Lauren the coach can't exist and do the work that she was born to do if I disqualify Lauren the consultant and Lauren the psychologist because there was warnings and gifts. Yeah.
Amanda Kaufman (21:13)
I think that's so powerful. Like it's so powerful. You know, I was saying, I think before we started recording, that, you know, your business is only gonna grow as large as you are personally willing to develop. And, you know, just one of the things that I certainly had to learn was my self-talk regarding disappointment, right? So, you know, for example, if I had,
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (21:37)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (21:40)
you know, tried some campaign or tried some endeavor or tried to establish some kind of a relationship. And it didn't work out the way that I wanted to. know, earlier days, my self-talk was just so honestly vicious. Like it was very like black and white. Like you're stupid. I used to tell myself I was stupid all the time. And you know, that...
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (22:03)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (22:05)
The personal growth for me has been like, OK, how how do we respond when we make a mistake or how do we respond when we're disappointed with an outcome? And it was like a lot of yes, coaching, but also self-parenting and practicing. And to me, like that lesson right there has been far more valuable for me to be able to impart to my other to my clients than, you know, the latest the latest copywriting.
hook strategy or how to use AI or, you know, I teach the systems and I do all of that, but what I see stops people the most is actually how they, to your point, how they treat themselves, how they talk to themselves, and therefore the lens through which they look at others.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (22:51)
Absolutely. You know, I think you've probably had a very similar experience, I'm blessed to know some of your background. Like when you've been in a field that you've spent years dedicating your life to and you've built that unconscious competence where you can do things without even having to think about them. And then all of a sudden you find yourself in a new space and
Amanda Kaufman (23:13)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (23:14)
you're not immediately successful and like you don't get things right all the time. And like you're in that space of now having to build conscious competence to before you even get to like the level of unconscious competence in a new space. That voice is vicious, right? And I think...
You know, from a psychology perspective, it's that cognitive dissonance, right? We hold these beliefs and thoughts about ourselves, but then our actions and the results are different and navigating that. that, and that inner voice, that inner critic can be so nasty. But I think, you know, when we, like when we started our careers, you know, when we, when we started walking as kids, when we fell over.
We weren't like, nini-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni at ourselves. Like we got up and we tried again. And I think that's what we forget, you know? Even if you're the most experienced coach, there's still stuff that you're going to be learning for the first time. You know, you're constantly going to be experimenting with new things.
So whilst all the systems and the strategies and the hooks and the marketing is great, it comes back to what I saying earlier. if that relationship with self and you're not parenting yourself and you're not talking to yourself and doing that inner work, then none of that's actually going to be as successful as it could be. And I'll actually argue the people who discount the value of the inner work are typically the people I see that are either jumping from career to career because they can't sustain it. And it's the same in
coaching they're the ones that have a business that within a few years they're burnt out because there's no heart and soul in all like I love systems and I love all that stuff but the heart and soul is the person and if you don't get clear here then you're not going to be clear with clients so all the systems and all that doesn't actually matter because it's not going to work
Amanda Kaufman (24:51)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's so true. Like the system speed up something that's already working. And if you're not already doing the work of connecting with people, why bother putting a dollar or an hour towards a single system? You know, it's, it's, you've got to really be.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (25:11)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (25:21)
connected at a deeper level. And you were kind of reminding me of some really valuable coaching I actually got earlier this year. We were just catching up, you and I, about how long has it been? And I'm like, it's been like six months because I have been really focusing and doubling down. And part of that came from a coach who said to me, Amanda, you're just not good enough yet.
And he was like the first person who like helped me with that. I loved what you just said, that dissonance of like the expectation that because I'd worked hard or because I'd been here for years or because I've been da da da da da da da da. And I was wanting this like outcome that wasn't coming. And he just straight said to me, Amanda, you're just not good enough yet. Yet. Right. And for some reason, the way that he said it, I could just hear it, but it was was kind of that.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (25:47)
Yeah.
Yeah, the yes. Yeah. But how many people just hear the first bit?
Amanda Kaufman (26:13)
Like to me, that's a sign of a really good coach that's like willing to tell you the truth and help you kind of pop those little bubbles of dissonance that are stopping you from doing your very best work, you know? So yeah.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (26:24)
Yeah, a hundred percent. Like I've, you know, I've had a tough conversation with one of my, you know, I was doing a discovery call this week and, I gave an hour of my time and, you know, I met them where they're at, listen and do all those things. And at the end.
You know, and it was one of those moments, right? Where I got to viscerally feel my own growth. You know, if I think back to three years ago, as an early coach, you're like, gotta land every discovery call. Like I need this client. And I just sat in this space. I'd listen and I'm like, okay, you know, what is truly in the high service of this client?
And I said to them, you know, I'm about to say something loving, non-judgmentally, compassionately. Coaching will help you, but you are not ready for it yet. You actually need more therapeutic support from what you've told me. That's not what I do. And once you've worked on that and you're at a different point,
I'll still be here and coaching is still available to you. But being okay, as you said to like, to me that is a similar thing. A coach that is willing to say the hard things and challenge. And that's what I look for, not just in a coach, but even in a peer group. You know, we talked about collaborating and that's something I've been a lot more discerning about in this past 12 months. So who are the people I can surround myself that aren't just going to tell me the sunshine and rainbows that are actually willing to tell me
the hard things that sometimes are really uncomfortable to hear because then that allows me to go and do the work where I need to do the work to get the growth and the outcomes that I want if I'm just surrounded by those people that are kind of always cheering but never actually go well Lauren you need to check yourself before you yourself like
It's limiting me. I think you said it beautifully, you know, rising to the level that we do the work and ourselves, say a similar thing, you know, we can only rise to the level of our limitations and half the time the limitations are what we put on ourselves or, you know, the environment we're putting ourselves in and what we're hearing. And so I think like that coach gave you a beautiful gift because if they weren't willing to say that, what would have changed?
Amanda Kaufman (28:26)
Mm-hmm.
hugely.
Yeah, I think that's it is that I actually have had like a lot of coaches that saw the same thing and they just didn't have, know, either the awareness or the courage to say.
it just very plainly like that, that is very understandable. And like in that instance with the discovery call, you were practicing a principle that we hold really dear in our company, which is responsible influence. know, coaching is a influencing position and you know, the...
It's not even necessarily just courage to do that. It's also the congruency to just say like, hey, this is something that can help you. It's just, it's not right right now, or it's not right with me, or here's what I would authentically recommend as the next best step in this situation. I love it. So Lauren, what are three things that help a coach not to suck?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (29:20)
Mm-hmm.
One thing that I like, and I've said this word and I'm going to unpack it a little bit is I think a coach that doesn't suck is a coach that's able to discern. They're able to discern for themselves when they're in integrity.
you know, when they're showing up and practicing their values, they're able to discern what's in alignment for them. And I think that would probably be my second piece. I'll touch on that in a little bit, but that's been one of the most profound lessons I've had. Like I thought I was good at discerning, but the longer this journey goes on, that ability to discern in every possible way, in every context, in every relationship is what's going to enable you not to suck.
you know, I have other coaches that I collaborate with and they, they get a little frustrated because they'll use terms and I'll like, okay, let's separate that. You're talking about two different things. Let's discern them as two different things. And it's frustrating, but to me, that's where a lot of my unlocks have happened as a coach. So also where a lot of my clients get a lot of unlocks is when we can take.
all the smush that you're putting in all together and actually be able to tease it out and start making things distinct. My second, that's a very like nerdy technical answer. My second thing is alignment and...
You know, kind of touched on it like when I was early in the piece, it was like, and I'm a recovering perfectionist. So was always about like trying to do things perfect. And the further things have gone on, I realized that alignment's actually more important than perfection. And again, hate the word alignment because it's become a buzzword, but I have had people that just shook their head at me. Like, what are you doing? Like that's not the way you're supposed to do things. Telling me like, do a 10 minute
Amanda Kaufman (31:07)
Mm-hmm.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (31:22)
I'm like, Lauren Joggeni could not do a 10 minute phone call even if you paid her. Like it's just not me. I'm someone who gets on the phone. say hello, I smile big, I want to talk to you, I want to know the story. So I'm like, I'm doing an hour for a discovery call. that doesn't make good business sense. I'm like, well, just because it doesn't make good business sense and it's not the perfect way to do it based on someone else's blueprint.
It makes sense for me and it's in alignment with who I am, how I want to show up and how I want to build a business. And so that would be the other thing. Have the ability to work out what is the best reflection of you and what you're trying to build and have the courage to actually focus on what's in alignment for you rather than perfecting what someone else says you should be doing.
Amanda Kaufman (31:55)
Yeah.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (32:13)
That's when my business had an unlock and I'm very, very lucky. I have a business that currently all a hundred percent referrals. So my going deep on building the relationships has served me really, really well. Transacting doing 10 minute calls. Yeah. don't, don't think I'd be doing as good. and then my third piece. And again, it's, it's so cliche, the work on yourself has never done like
There is no destination with it. It is a journey and I think the biggest shift for me, everyone in my professional personal life said this. I've always been someone that's done all the like extracurriculars and the like the professional development but when I actually invested in personal development and actually it's like exchanging money
Not just reading the book off the shelf, like putting myself in the rooms where that was the conversation. I had to meet some versions of myself that I didn't necessarily like, but was necessary for me to step into that next version, not just as a person, but as a coach. And that's when everything changed. So that'd be my three things.
Amanda Kaufman (33:28)
Those are amazing three things. just, you know, not that you need the validation, given that your whole point was about seeking your own alignment. Anybody who gives you like a quick cocktail napkin answer of, you just do this in business is still playing at business.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (33:36)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (33:43)
You know, and and so just like for the for gentle reader, as you are considering, like, should I have a two step process? Should I have an application? Should I do a one hour? Should I do a 45 minutes? That's a big fat. It depends. And a very good reason to set up a call with me to figure out what actually does work like well, that is scalable for you and your particular style. And what you just told me about like.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (33:43)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (34:08)
Most all my businesses come from referrals. Like that means you have a perfect process because it's working amazingly, you know. And I think when people say like, that doesn't make business sense. That's injecting an insecurity that's not even needed or necessary and is in generally in service of the person's ego or their lack of awareness of what all the different options are for business, because there are so many ways to approach.
the relationship and the initiation of it and the cultivation of it and the sales process. And that's what kind of makes it fun. But I love that you brought up that example because people waste a lot of time looking for the right answer in the silver bullet.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (34:47)
I think people can tell us.
Well, exactly. I think, you know, people can tell when you're not doing things in a way that makes sense for you.
Like I know that people would not resonate with me. I would not be potent on a call if I did a 10 minute call. It's not that I wouldn't be the same like, lively, talk with my hands, la la la la. But people would feel like a harsh cut. They'd feel rushed. They'd like, there'd be an energy alignment that is not the same as when I just give myself the permission.
to do what I know I do best and work from that place. And with business, you're right. Like there's so many ways to do things. And I think that's, know, if I was to add two extra things to my list of three, you know.
the ability to critically think and the ability to experiment and not become complacent. So yes, my process works right now, but I'm never going, well, that's it. I've just found the magical process and I'm going to keep doing this. Now I'm always thinking about how do I need to improve? How do I, how can I make this better? How can I do things differently that adds a better like value for my client or a better experience? Like
Amanda Kaufman (36:02)
Exactly.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (36:04)
To me complacency is not an option and experimentation is actually what business is. Like you and for me that was hard because I was that that perfectionist. It's like I want to do it right and I want to do it right the first time. Business and personal development has taught me, yeah, no, no, you've got to get way better at just sitting in this space of constantly experimenting, getting the data and then making the best decision you can at the time.
Amanda Kaufman (36:09)
thousand percent and
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (36:28)
in mind when you're making those decisions, that vision you have of what you're trying to build. And I think that's the other piece is are you building transactions or you're building a business? Cause when I think about a business, trying to build something that I can sustain, build a legacy out of impact people change lives. That's not like each transaction might build a business for people, but can you sustain it? Is it going to have the legacy?
Amanda Kaufman (36:54)
Well, and that's exactly it. And I love this point because there was a season where I was doing like two hour long discovery calls and I met everybody in person. And it was a very manual endeavor at one point in my business. And then there was another.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (37:08)
Any?
Amanda Kaufman (37:12)
point in my business where I was running, you know, several thousands of dollars of ad spend in a week. And we did have a 10 minute call protocol and it was a 10 minute call that went to, you know, a longer one. But the process kind of shifted based on the difference in the context. you know, like I would never personally started with like the 10 minute call thing and running a whole bunch of ads. But getting back to like the NBA player who has like some capital to set aside, like they can go ahead and hire an agency like
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (37:38)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (37:41)
right away, you know? So that's why all the decisions are so unique. Lauren, what is the best way for people to follow you and to catch up with you?
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (37:52)
Yeah, okay, so if people want to follow me personally, I'm on LinkedIn, so you'll find me there under Lauren Joggeni. Otherwise, for Laurentium, we're online at www.laurentium.com, and then you can also follow us on socials, on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Amanda Kaufman (38:08)
Amazing. And we'll make sure to include the links in the show notes below this episode. And hey, Lauren brought it today. So do be sure to leave a five-star review of the podcast. And that helps people to discover.
the podcast and to find out that it is good for them. And if you found something, anything really helpful in today's episode, go ahead and forward this on to three of your friends so that they can benefit from this conversation about authenticity and what it takes to not suck as a coach. Thank you so much for joining us today and thank you for coming, Lauren.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (38:45)
No, thank you so much for the invite and having me. This has been incredible.
Amanda Kaufman (38:49)
Amazing, amazing. Don't forget to subscribe yourself, listener, and we will see you on another episode.
Okay, don't be mad.
But it says starting and it says it's recording. So let's do this. If this did not save, are you open to me rescheduling? We seem to be having like all the techie fun. I think we're.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (39:12)
Mine says it's like 99 % uploading. So I'm like, hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (39:15)
I know but I'm like trying to stop and it won't actually let me. So I'm gonna do this.
LAURINTIUM | Lauryn Girgenti (39:24)
Okay.
Amanda Kaufman (39:24)
Okay, all right, I'm gonna hit stop now.
