The Real Reason You Haven’t Leveled Up Yet

The Real Reason You Haven’t Leveled Up Yet

If you have ever found yourself thinking, "I should be further along by now," this message is for you.

Maybe you have taken the courses, earned the degrees, and worked the long hours, yet it still feels like you are not breaking through to the next level. It is frustrating, confusing, and exhausting. You wonder what more there is to prove.

But the truth is this. The reason you have not leveled up has very little to do with how much you have accomplished. It is not about your resume, or another certification, or grinding harder.

The real reason is happening inside you.

In a powerful conversation with Dr. Lizette Warner, a neuroscience-driven executive coach and former chief science officer, we explored what truly accelerates growth. Her insight was clear and incredibly grounding. Getting to your next level is not about chasing more. It is about aligning deeper.

You are already a leader, so why are you still waiting?

Lizette said it beautifully during our talk.

"You have to get your nervous system ready to lead. Somebody is already following you. You're setting the example for somebody else. It is a matter of what kind of leader are you now."

This shifted everything for me, and I hope it does for you too. We often wait for a title or permission to step into leadership. But the truth is that someone is already looking to you. Leadership is not something you earn. It is something you embody.

It begins with your presence. It begins with how you show up today.

It all starts inside

So many professionals and entrepreneurs believe that if they can just get one more credential or master one more skill, then they will finally be ready.

But the most powerful leaders are not always the most credentialed. They are the ones who have done the inner work. They are regulated, aligned, and clear on who they are becoming.

Lizette reminded us that your nervous system plays a bigger role in leadership than most people realize. When your system is overwhelmed, reactive, or burned out, it is hard to access the calm confidence needed to lead well.

True leadership does not start with strategy. It starts with self-regulation.

Avoidance is not laziness. It is fear disguised as productivity

One of the most relatable moments in the episode was when Lizette shared this simple truth.

"I often go to the fridge. I'm not even frickin' hungry. But I go to the fridge because I don't know what to do next. I'm on the cusp of something big, and I don't want to do it."

That moment hit hard. Because we have all been there. Distracting ourselves. Overanalyzing. Procrastinating. Pretending to be "figuring it out" when really, we are avoiding the discomfort that growth demands.

That avoidance is not a failure. It is a signal. If you are paying attention, your body is always communicating what needs to shift next.

You have never truly regretted investing in yourself

Lizette asked a brilliant question.

"How many times, dear listener, have you invested in yourself and it's been a total disaster? I'm gonna guess it's probably fairly zilch. Because when we make the decision to do something, we show up."

Let that sink in. When you truly decide to invest in your growth, you activate a level of energy and focus that changes your trajectory.

The investment is not just financial. It is emotional. It is energetic. It is a choice to believe in your future self enough to act on her behalf right now.

You are not underqualified. You are under supported

So many incredible people stay stuck not because they lack intelligence, passion, or work ethic. They stay stuck because they are trying to figure it out alone.

You do not need to push harder. You need to be held and supported as you shift into the version of you who is ready to lead differently.

Leadership does not begin when someone else says you are ready. It begins when you decide to stop waiting.

It is not about proving yourself. It is about preparing yourself, from the inside out.

So what kind of leader are you becoming?

Ask yourself with honesty and compassion:

• Am I delaying my growth while convincing myself I am planning it?
  
  

• Am I waiting for someone else to give me permission to go?
  
  

• Am I ready to take the next step from a place of alignment, not exhaustion?
  
  

You are not behind. You are not broken. But you might be ready.

Ready to lead with more clarity.
Ready to shift out of old patterns.
Ready to stop spinning and start stepping forward with intention.

Your next level is not out there waiting for you to find it. It is already inside you, waiting for you to choose it.

This episode with Dr. Lizette Warner is your invitation to begin that shift today.

Chapters List

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Lizette Warner

03:20 The Journey from Science to Coaching

06:23 Understanding Promotion Barriers

09:07 The Inside Job of Leadership

11:55 Ambition vs. Entitlement

14:47 Listening to Your Body's Signals

17:30 Building Self-Leadership and Discipline

Full Transcript

Lizette Warner, PhD (00:00)

How many times, dear listener, have you invested in yourself and it's been a total disaster?

Because when we make the decision 10 times out of 10, we finally go do the thing when we finally set our minds to do it.

Amanda Kaufman (00:34)

Well, hello, hello and welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. And this week, I'm super excited to introduce you to Lizette Warner, PhD. So Dr. Lizette Warner is a smart rewiring scientist, executive coach and former chief science officer. So cool. Who now serves as COO of Trust and Leadership Coaching with over 20 years of global leadership and scientific experience.

She helps senior executives accelerate promotions, make better decisions under pressure, and prevent burnout using neuroscience-backed tools and measurable frameworks that guarantees a career acceleration. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, TEDx, and with organizations like Philips, GE, KPMG, and UNICEF. And she is also the bestselling author of Power, Poise, and Pr-

Welcome to the show! I'm so excited that you're here!

Lizette Warner, PhD (01:33)

Hey Amanda, that was such an amazing intro. Like I wanna meet this lady. She sounds pretty cool.

Amanda Kaufman (01:40)

Well, you know, they say it's very important to know thyself. So, yeah, I'm really glad that you're here. you know, dear listener, Lizette and I met in a business incubator that we both participate in and we had a little moment at the side. And I was just so impressed, Lizette, with your, the way that you love to serve people and that deeper understanding, I think.

that scientist in you really comes through, but it's also so people-centric. So I'm curious, like, why people? What is it about this field and helping senior executives perform even more effectively? What is it about that that really draws you in? You're brilliant, you could do anything.

Lizette Warner, PhD (02:22)

Yeah, you know, people are funny creatures, right? And oftentimes when I explain my story from going chief science officer to now I'm a chief coaching officer and they're like, wait, wait, those are two separate things. Like how did you go from tech to helping people? And really it was my own journey, right? got a, when I had this disjointed career where I started at work and then I went and got my PhD and then I went back.

Amanda Kaufman (02:24)

Yeah, we are.

Lizette Warner, PhD (02:51)

to work and after this four or five year hiatus. And I just didn't wanna dink around trying to climb corporate ladders. So I, with the help of a coach, accelerated my career. And I was so impressed with that relationship and what it did for me that I then ended up getting my coaching certification. I started coaching inside of the company and outside of the company. And I was like, I started using my skills

as a leader using coaching skills. And so it was a natural progression to just, I'm gonna do this. People, when I was using coaching within the team, it was just amazing what I was able to get for people. And I just, love being able to serve and help people grow and help people see that next step. I mean, I wish that had I had a coach in my first outing in my career.

I may have not gotten my PhD, right? I fell into the trap of thinking like, ooh, I gotta go get my PhD so that can get ahead. No, no, no, no, no, you really don't. You really don't need that certification. It's, mean, it was a great experience and I'm glad that I got it, because at this point now I can pivot and use a lot of my learnings into what I do now. But in order to get ahead, you don't need that. So I just, love people, I love serving. And so that's kind of...

how I made that transition from chief science officer to chief coaching officer.

Amanda Kaufman (04:21)

I love that. And I think that it's so interesting on the internet streets, there's a lot of conversation about the what's next for our next generation, especially. And I think that's such a really powerful call out around credentialing and like when is credentialing genuinely required versus can you get there in another form or fashion? And you know, in terms of like people, people.

are funny creatures. That is a a great call out. But I think what's so interesting too about your story is that you, you found out that you love coaching by doing it, you know, and getting exposure to it. And at first being a client and then seeing how powerful that was, it makes a lot of sense. And in my own journey, I think I became a coach before I ever hired a coach.

But it was kind of the same thing. I was presented with this opportunity in the workplace to have a different sort of conversation, which I later learned was coaching. And so dear listener, there's a big takeaway here that you learn so much more by doing the thing and being exposed to the thing than fixing to you and getting ready to do it. So good.

Lizette Warner, PhD (05:35)

Mm-hmm.

100%. Yeah, that fixing to getting ready to do, know, analyzing it, planning it. Yeah, that's great. But sometimes we can get stuck there. You can get stuck in the fixing to planning on it. I'm thinking about it. I see it with clients all the time, right? Who want the promotion but don't want to make the investment because, that's a lot of money. Well, how much is that promotion? So if we delay on that, how much are you actually losing? And not just

Amanda Kaufman (05:45)

Absolutely.

Lizette Warner, PhD (06:03)

this promotion, but the one that's coming after that one. Now you're setting yourself on this whole delay scheme, right? And so I think people a lot of times need to realize that by delaying that action, right? By not doing, you can miss out, right?

Amanda Kaufman (06:23)

Yes. And you know, when I look at something like coaching, it's so interesting because I would categorize it in a broader family of alternative education. You know, so what's cool about alternative education and you have the experience at the PhD is that, yeah, sure, you might be paying for it because it costs you something to deliver it. compared to a traditional

education, you know, in a brick and mortar institution to get a credential. Typically, it's a lot slower to go that route. Typically, it's a lot more expensive to go that route. Typically, you have to learn a lot of things that aren't the thing to go that route. So when you hire a coach, it really is this personalized experience that's tailored to you. Now, talk to me a little bit more about the desire that people have to get promoted.

Lizette Warner, PhD (07:00)

Mm-hmm.

Amanda Kaufman (07:11)

Like, for real, for real, what gets in the way? Why aren't they just getting the promotion already?

Lizette Warner, PhD (07:18)

So many things here and that's such a beautiful question Amanda because it oftentimes people think the thing that's getting in my way is like, okay, I don't have the executive presence. I'm not showing up the way that I need to, right? And oftentimes it's sometimes people think I need to have the this or the that, right? I need this skill. I need to go get my MBA because then that'll demonstrate that I'm worthy, right? Of the thing, of the role. And oftentimes what

Amanda Kaufman (07:28)

Mm.

Lizette Warner, PhD (07:46)

I end up teaching, what we end up teaching our leaders is you have to get your nervous system ready to lead. Because when you become a leader and every, if you're, dear listener, you're already a leader, 100%, you're already a leader. Somebody is following you. Some you're setting an, yep, somebody's, you're setting the example for somebody else. So what, it's a matter of what kind of leader are you now?

Amanda Kaufman (08:03)

you. Someone's looking to you.

Lizette Warner, PhD (08:13)

and are you positioning yourself to be recognized as that leader, whether that leader is you're drawing people towards you to work with you, or you're shining out your skills so that you're recognized for that next position and it starts with you. A lot of the work is internal, it's an inside job. A lot of the work is an inside job and a lot of times people think it's an external thing.

Amanda Kaufman (08:35)

oof

Lizette Warner, PhD (08:41)

Right, I gotta go get the certification, I gotta get the MBA, I gotta get the this, I gotta get this skill. And yes, there is a certain amount of skill, but I've seen so many people who are unskilled in a high level of leadership, and I'm sure if you're listening to this, you've experienced it, how on earth did they get to where they are? And it is because they have the other thing that people...

are looking for that they haven't done the work. It's all an inside job. so oftentimes people, when they have that twitch in a gulp about, you know, investing in themselves and working with someone to help them, it's really helping them see that, look, this is an investment in you. How many times, dear listener, have you invested in yourself and you have, it's been a total disaster?

how many times? I'm gonna guess it's probably fairly zilch. Because when we make the decision to, I'm gonna do this, guess what? 10 times out of 10, we finally go do the thing when we finally set our minds to do it. So really the thing, know, to get to the root of what you asked, Amanda, it's an inside job. And that's why it's not a quick...

you know, let me go get this certification, let me go get this LinkedIn learning that I can do in 30 minutes. So now I got the badge on my LinkedIn, the whole world sees it. It is that inside job that then shows other people because you're showing up 100 % different. And it all starts on the inside.

Amanda Kaufman (10:19)

So

yeah, that's the hard part, isn't it? And I really, this is one of the reasons that I absolutely love coaching is because yes, it is an inside job. Like I've had many, clients over the years and I can tell you that the people who really thrive in...

whatever their endeavor was that they hired me, whether they're building a business or they're expanding, it really did come down to how they saw themselves from within. so specifically, do they see their future identity for real in that future state? And it's so funny to me, I see it a lot. I spend more time in entrepreneurship than I do in the corporate land these days.

But I see the same thing, you know, it's like I should be getting more clients or I should be earning at a higher level and You know kind of the rude response in my brain might be should you? Right, like should you really if you're being very honest and I heard something really brilliant the other day I thought it was brilliant. I'd love to hear you argue with me if if you disagree I think it was Jimmy Carr. He said When you are where you are

and then you see where you want to go. If you're blaming everybody else and your circumstances, that's entitlement. But if you are where you are and you see where you want to go and you're willing to do the work to get there, that's ambition. And I loved it because as a coach, I'm like, that's it. You know, my clients that are very successful, I've noticed that they have that inner drive within that is very ambitious, but they're also willing to do the work to get there. Yeah.

Lizette Warner, PhD (11:55)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah,

beautiful. That's a kicker, right? It's having that ambition. And I think the other piece to that, Amanda, is oftentimes people think like, I should, just like you said, right? I should be further along in this, or I should have, like, I don't need to do this work, because here I am. I have all of this expertise and experience, right? And you may find this too, right? You work with different.

different people, different, let's say, entrepreneurs, or even if they're in the workplace, they're at different, oftentimes what I tell my entrepreneurs is you're an established leader in your expert zone. But in this zone where you're entering, you're just now starting a business, guess what? You're a rising star. And so you've got some skills that you need to develop. So yes, the ambition,

Amanda Kaufman (12:43)

Mm-hmm.

Lizette Warner, PhD (12:48)

is super important, but sometimes we need to flash that truth to the client of where they actually are. And then it's like the light bulb goes on, like, yes, I am very skilled over here, but in this area, I need a lot of work.

Amanda Kaufman (13:03)

a rising star. Yes, I love that. know, it's beautiful because it's very honoring of the person and their intent and their ambition. But at the same time, it really does acknowledge there's you need to be humble, I think, you know, and if a few years ago, I learned the definition of humble, I always thought that humble meant small or meek. And that's not it at all. It's actually grounded to the earth. Like it literally means grounded to the earth.

And so that rising star status, I'm like, that lets you be humble. It lets you accept that you are a rising star, but maybe you're not at the top of this mountain because it's a new one. You know, I love that. What do you for anybody listening who maybe they find themselves in this grind, you know, kind of in that hamster wheel of doom of doing the same thing in and out. And they're they're feeling a lot of crossroads.

Lizette Warner, PhD (13:44)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a brand new one.

Amanda Kaufman (14:01)

kind of energy. You know, these are people that I encounter a lot in our community where they're like, I'm kind of doing this over here, but I feel like my heart might be over there, but maybe I should be doubling down over here. And they just kind of get caught in the spinning cycle. What would you say to that person who's trying to decide what's next?

Lizette Warner, PhD (14:21)

Yeah. So in that case, I, so here's where I default. I, you know, my scientific background tells me that this very interesting like science fact, you, you have a ton of neurons, right in your brain, but guess what? Your body, your gut is called the second brain because of the amount of neural connections that you have from your gut to your cerebellum. So

You have a lot and that's the piece that a lot of people don't connect the dots with right? They think it's all a mental game and it is to a certain extent, but you know what? You've got a lot of body wisdom. So if you're feeling this this angst or this this, know hamster wheel and and again you're feeling it. What is that feeling telling you? And oftentimes we don't sit there at all. Let alone not enough at.

all. And that's where this beautiful relationship with a coach who will drag you to those depths, right? To uncover what is that wisdom that's there. Because then once you uncover that, now you can move. Right? All of this angst is usually an indicator of something, something that your body's trying to tell you. And oftentimes we ignore it to our detriment, because the body will always win.

whether it's you end up having a headache, to you end up having TMJ, or you end up with some disease, your body will speak to you. And oftentimes we don't listen, we ignore and we move forward. So what I would say to that Amanda is what do you think your body is trying to tell you? And it's not woo woo, it is 100 % science.

Amanda Kaufman (16:09)

That's so good. And yes, that's very true. I mean, I've been working with high performers and high achievers for a really long time. know, number one thing that we talk about to raise awareness of like, maybe I am in this conflict zone. Maybe I am feeling like I'm not clear on my direction and where I want to go, whether it's up in this organization that I'm in or whether I want to transfer outside or whether I want to start my own thing.

take a look to it, your coping mechanisms, right? And those coping behaviors, because very often when we're uncomfortable with it, people are now turning to screens. Like screen time is the new smoking. And hey, stay here if you're watching us on the YouTube, I'll see you. No, but seriously, it's like just being super aware of like, where is the intentionality going of the

spending and how do I feel about it and just like kind of bringing that all to bear because I think I think it is addictive to try to get very heady about where I should go and what I should do and I always say the fun is in the fundamentals like if fundamentally you're finding yourself getting sucked into your phone all the time or fundamentally you find yourself coping with cookies or worse then that that is

also your body through consumption pattern saying something, right? And if you don't, if you don't get rid of that noise, it's so hard to hear it. Yeah.

Lizette Warner, PhD (17:29)

It's a signal.

Yeah.

And, you know, beautiful example of that, Amanda, I was just telling a group this morning, obviously, I'm a coach, right? So I've been doing a lot of work on myself and I have a coach. in any case, one of the habits that I have discovered about myself is when I often go to the fridge.

I don't know, do you do this? I often go to the fridge. I'm not even fricking hungry, but I go to the fridge and I open it and I'm like, looking, ooh, what am I gonna put? What am I gonna shove in my head? And I, through work, through the inside job, right? Through work, I figured out that I go to the fridge, because I don't know what to do next. Like I'm on the cusp of something big, and I don't wanna do it.

because I could make a mistake either way, right? So now when I go to the fridge, I recognize this pattern and this habit. It happened last week, Amanda. So it happened to me last week and I've known this now for over two years. And when that happened to me, I immediately left the kitchen and I'm like, go sit back at your desk because you're about to do something brilliant and you know you are, so quit delaying. And so was able to redirect myself, yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (18:46)

That's so good.

Yeah, that's so good. Like building that discipline muscle so you can really trust yourself to follow through, know, circling back to what we were talking about earlier. Sounds an awful lot like self leadership from within. What is the best way for people to follow you?

Lizette Warner, PhD (19:02)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I am on LinkedIn and I typically post there a couple times a week. So if you wanna get in touch with me, find me on LinkedIn. It's the new social hallway globally. So that's like the new hangout.

Amanda Kaufman (19:24)

Totally, absolutely, absolutely. And dear listener, we'll make sure to have Dr. Warner's links below so you can check out her website and everything else as well. Thank you so much for being here on the show.

Lizette Warner, PhD (19:36)

Thank you, Amanda, for the conversation. This was great. I enjoyed it.

Amanda Kaufman (19:40)

Yes, I agree. And hey, listener, if you loved it, make sure you hit that subscribe button, right? Because you don't want to miss another episode. And if you love this, make sure you grab the episode link for wherever you're listening and share it with three of your dear friends. You can text it over to them. You can send it on DM, but let them listen to the short episode so that they can activate that thing that is within themselves. And hey, if you've been listening and you're loving the show,

One of the best things you can do for us is leave a rating. If you could leave an honest review wherever you happen to be listening to this, we are so grateful for anybody who does that because it helps other people to decide whether they want to spend time with us too. With all of this being said, we've got another episode around the corner and I can't wait to see you in that one. But until then, make sure you do what matters.