Embracing Your Magic
Unlocking Success by Finding Your Inner Magic: A Conversation with Jason Lorber
At The Coaches Plaza, we're all about helping coaches grow, transform, and thrive. In a recent episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Jason Lorber, founder of Aplomb Consulting.
Jason’s journey from consulting to coaching and his insights on leadership, personal growth, and relationship-building are invaluable for anyone looking to take their coaching practice to the next level.
Embracing Your Inner Magic
Jason’s work centers around a simple but powerful truth: "Everyone has a magic inside them, and no one likes being told what to do." Whether you're an entrepreneur, coach, or leader, it’s crucial to find what makes you tick and lean into that magic.
It's about uncovering the strength and potential you already possess, rather than relying on external validation or rigid structures.
As Jason shared,
"I started my business right out of business school, telling organizations what to do. They thanked me but rarely followed through."
Sound familiar? If you're a coach who's found yourself frustrated with clients not taking action, Jason’s solution is to meet people where they are. It's about guiding, not prescribing.
Learning to Pivot and Grow
One of the most striking parts of Jason's journey is his evolution from consultant to mediator and coach. He didn’t begin his career knowing he’d take on these roles, but instead followed the needs of his clients.
When clients began asking him for mediation or team-building support, Jason leaned into those opportunities—even though he initially didn’t see himself in those roles.
This adaptability is a key lesson for all coaches: your path doesn't need to be linear. As Jason said,
“You create the plan, and as soon as it's done, something changes."
He advocates for strategic flexibility, which means being open to new ways of serving your clients while staying rooted in what you’re passionate about.
Building Meaningful Relationships
Another highlight of our conversation was Jason's approach to networking. He emphasizes the importance of daily relationship-building. Even a simple, genuine connection can make all the difference.
Jason recalled landing a large engagement from someone he hadn’t spoken to in over a decade. By regularly staying in touch, even just sending a quick email, he kept the door open for future opportunities.
Think about it: How many of your clients, colleagues, or friends could lead to new opportunities just by staying connected? As Jason puts it, “If you talk to one person a day, that’s 200-300 people a year!”
Success Adjacency: The Power of Being in Service
Jason’s concept of “success adjacency” is a brilliant way to think about how we build our businesses. By being in service to your clients and solving the problems right in front of you, you naturally open up new opportunities.
"When clients see you succeeding, they ask, 'What else can you do?'" Jason says.
It’s not about having all the answers upfront, but rather being willing to expand and adapt in response to the needs of those you serve.
3 Key Tips to Be a Coach Who Doesn’t Suck
If you’re wondering how to elevate your coaching practice, Jason shared three simple but profound pieces of advice:
Be clear on your purpose: If your only goal is to make money, success will be fleeting. Focus on serving others, and the rest will follow.
Be honest with yourself: Know your values, your strengths, and how you want to show up. Don't try to imitate others—be authentic.
Treat yourself with kindness: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Growth takes time, and every step of your journey is worth celebrating.
Closing the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be
Jason’s final takeaway is one that resonates deeply: "Admire others' successes, but don’t compare. Be your own cheerleader." As coaches, we often focus on helping others but forget to be kind to ourselves. Yes, aim high. But don’t forget to celebrate your own progress along the way.
This episode left me inspired by Jason’s approach to life and business, and I hope his wisdom encourages you too. Remember, you have the magic inside you. Lean into it, embrace the unexpected opportunities, and continue showing up with heart, both for your clients and yourself.
To connect with Jason Lorber or learn more about his work, visit aplomb.com or find him on LinkedIn.
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Key Timestamps
0:00 – Intro: Meet Jason Lorber and discover how he helps people and organizations unlock their magic
1:20 – Jason’s Journey: From consulting to coaching—how Jason’s path evolved
4:30 – Coaching Mindset: Why everyone has a magic inside, and how to help clients find theirs
6:10 – Building Relationships: Jason’s daily practice of meaningful connection and its impact
9:00 – Success Adjacency: How saying “yes” to adjacent opportunities can grow your business
11:00 – Strategic Planning: Why adaptability is key when plans change
14:00 – Comparison Trap: Is comparison the thief of joy, or can it inspire growth?
17:00 – Stand-Up Comedy and Coaching: How Jason’s comedy experience helped him grow his network
19:20 – 3 Tips for Coaches: Jason’s top advice to build a thriving coaching practice
22:30 – Closing Thoughts: How to treat yourself with kindness and celebrate your journey
Full Transcript: Jason Lorber Podcast Interview
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[00:00:00] Finding the magic inside you find out what makes you tick whether you're an organization or an individual and lean into that and what makes you shine?
[00:00:10] Mhm.
[00:00:29] Hello and [00:00:30] welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. I am so excited to continue our segment on coaches that don't suck.
[00:00:38] And to continue this conversation, I have my friend Jason Lorber here. And dude, we've known each other for several years. And we were just reminiscing about connecting for the very first time. And you've come a long way with your business and everything. Why don't you take 30 seconds and share with us about aplomb consulting and what is it that you do these days?
[00:00:59] [00:01:00] Sure. So aplomb consulting, we facilitate change with the underlying premise that everyone has a magic inside them and no one likes being told what to do. Okay.
[00:01:11] Oh my gosh, I love that. That's just genius. And it's you're making me think about our very first calls and interactions. And yeah, everyone does have a magic inside them.
[00:01:20] And of course, people don't want to be told what to do. I think, my average listener is either an entrepreneur or an aspiring entrepreneur. And I like to remind them very often. [00:01:30] It's Hey, you chose this path for a reason. Like you didn't want to go somewhere else. So talk to me a little bit about.
[00:01:36] about your journey. You mentioned that coaching is something that you do in your business. You also do consulting. How did you come about doing this with your business full time?
[00:01:45] I started my business right out of business school. And I was, going into organizations as an expert. And I was telling them how to do things.
[00:01:54] And lo and behold, they're like, this is awesome. Thank you. And then they didn't do it. [00:02:00] Oh, that
[00:02:01] was my experience with consulting as well. It was just like, that looks really shiny. Good job. Pat on the head. And they didn't do it a lot of the time they didn't do it.
[00:02:10] And so when I took a break, I served in the legislature, I was, I house of representatives in Vermont.
[00:02:17] And then after eight years, I decided to go back to business. And as I entered back into my business, I want to make a difference. And so I started looking into [00:02:30] different models of meeting folks where they are, whether they're leaders, individuals, rising stars, or organizations, and saying, what is it that you need?
[00:02:42] And rather than me coming up with the Answers to say what is it that your organization wants to do? Or what is it that you want to do? And so my job is to help leaders. empower their teams. And the tools I [00:03:00] use are strategic planning, team building, executive coaching, and mediation.
[00:03:06] Oh, goodness, you've got quite the tool belt.
[00:03:08] You're like Batman.
[00:03:09] Yes, I, where's my cape? And yeah, so it just depends what people need at the time. And I do remember though, when I first started the coaching aspect of it, because I knew a lot about businesses and organizations and people, but I was very nervous about coaching.
[00:03:28] We can never be [00:03:30] experts. Simon Sinek says, Anyone who calls themselves an expert is a fraud because we can always get better,
[00:03:36] right? It's so true. I think that breaking up with a rival and instead falling in love with mastery and optimization has been for sure one of my most Transformative personal mindset shifts and it's so funny you said don't call yourself an expert.
[00:03:54] Definitely one of my programs is called the experts network. Moving forward. I really love how [00:04:00] you have identified something really important that, and I'm not sure that everybody really. So my question for you, Jason, is is what you were saying, is that you were really clear about the problem of appropriate magnitude, around here we call that a PAM, the problem of appropriate magnitude that you wanted to solve.
[00:04:19] It wasn't about Jason the coach and Jason becoming the coach, it was more about You Here's a population that's suffering and is willing to part ways with [00:04:30] money to solve it. Who must I become? And then allowing yourself to become a mediator, become a coach, become like whatever you needed to become in order to solve like the PAM, to solve the problem of appropriate magnitude.
[00:04:44] And yeah, that that's awesome. Did you get specific advice to do it that way? Or was that an intuitive hit that you should do it that way? Like, how did how did you come to arrive at that?
[00:04:54] It's interesting. I want to say that it's intuitive and it was intuitive, but it was more [00:05:00] intuitive for my clients because they would say, Hey, could you do this work?
[00:05:05] I remember when I did my first mediation, I'm like, I'm not a mediator. Again, that's a label. That's a name that, you know, but I'm like, but I can facilitate a conversation and I was doing that and I helped people through a very difficult conflict. Again, not by prescribing solutions, I'm like, this is up to you, and then after we we completed [00:05:30] that, I turned to my mediator friends, and I said, so what did I do that's different than mediation?
[00:05:37] And they said, Jason, that is a mediation, you're a mediator. I'm like, I am?
[00:05:42] Oh, okay.
[00:05:44] You're like an
[00:05:45] accidental tennis player. I love it.
[00:05:47] And yeah, and I've had clients come to me and just sense that I'm having difficult with some folks in this one department. They're just not getting along. Could you do some team building?
[00:05:58] And I said, I've never [00:06:00] done something like that, but then I did it and it worked and then. I started telling people, Oh, I could do this other thing. And it kept working.
[00:06:12] I really love this. And thank you for recounting your story because I, I know that when I was starting out for sure, and I hear this a lot, there's this expectation that we're supposed to just have the super linear, laid out, absolutely clarified five, 10, [00:06:30] 20 year plan.
[00:06:31] And I've just never really I know the broad strokes. Yeah. In my own life of, where I want to be in 20 years in the sense of, the fulfillment I'd like to have, some of the accomplishments I'd like to have, but insofar as like fitting everything onto this perfect little Gantt chart of clarity.
[00:06:48] Yeah. In advance. Yeah. Definitely not. That has never ever been my experience. I tend to live in like a 90 day year mode. And as long as the broad strokes are there, we're good,
[00:06:59] yeah. [00:07:00] And that's great to have that plan. And just I'm, I work with organizations to create strategic plans.
[00:07:06] So you create the plan as soon as it's done, something changes. There's a competitor, there's COVID, there, things change. And but what you've done is you started thinking strategically, you've got your Gantt chart, they've got their strategic plan. And now we're going to just go with it. And oh, client just asked me to do this thing I've never done before.
[00:07:28] Yes, I'm going to do [00:07:30] that. I'm going to be upfront and say, Hey, Just so you know, I haven't done this, but I can give it a try if that's what you want.
[00:07:37] And what's cool is like you, you took success it's, I, the term that's coming into my head is success adjacency. So you had success and you were in success and then they were like, what else could you do?
[00:07:50] Because you were already in service and they're like, this looks a little like that. Do you think you could do that? That's what I'm hearing a lot of your business building was around. Yeah.
[00:07:58] Yeah and I love the [00:08:00] book Good to Great by Jim Collins, and he does all this research looking at what separates the great companies from the good companies, and one of the theories that he had, and maybe it was that book, maybe it was Great by Choice read all of his books.
[00:08:15] Hey, Jim. And one of the things that he was expecting to see was with the great companies that they would have had a plan of these are our stretch goals and this is, because he talks about big [00:08:30] hairy audacious goals. He coined that term. And it wasn't the case that a lot of the leaders just said we're just work really hard and we've got our systems down and we just, And we see what opportunities come as as they may.
[00:08:45] And then we capitalize on those. And the big failures, we learn from them. And then we move forward. So
[00:08:52] I love that. I love that. And I wanted to circle back to like on the strategic planning piece of it, [00:09:00] the tendency, I think people, because they're seeking so much certainty, they're seeking like that everything is just predetermined in advance and you can tell the future somehow, right?
[00:09:10] Which you obviously cannot. I actually, I can't, but I'm not, you can, but the rest of us cannot. Yeah. Yeah fair clarification. I knew you were going to say that is that when you do the when you do the strategic plan, you knew I was gonna say that I just caught that.
[00:09:25] I was thinking you almost threw me you almost threw me the strategic [00:09:30] plan concept and it changing just as soon as you finish writing the plan. What came up for me was that it's so much easier to edit than it is to create.
[00:09:38] Right?
[00:09:39] When you were, you've been doing this for years, right?
[00:09:41] So like you've gone through COVID with your clients and things like that and all the dystopian fun things that we've been doing lately. Yeah. Yeah. So can you talk to me a little bit about How is it that you've built your network to be like this strong that you happen to be like in these places and you can create that success [00:10:00] and you can do that.
[00:10:00] You're obviously a very gregarious fun guy. And I know for me, I've had to learn a lot of that stuff. stuff. So I always like to ask somebody who has a way with, Oh, I have a friend that does this. I have a friend that does that. And I'm like, you do? How did you meet those friends?
[00:10:16] Can you catch me up on, on that? What's your philosophy when it comes to relationship building?
[00:10:21] Yeah. One, I learned from this amazing woman, Amanda Kaufman and what she, you should meet her. You would [00:10:30] love her. Anyway she, what you told us told me is You know, you need to be contacting people every single day.
[00:10:38] Yeah, that's true.
[00:10:38] And, if you do that, if you talk to one person a day, that's, 200, 300 people a year that suddenly you have. And I was just looking through my clients over the last couple years, and I'm like, where did they come from?
[00:10:54] That's such a good exercise. Everyone should do that.
[00:10:57] Where did my friends come from? I'm serious. Like where did [00:11:00] your coach come from? Where did you, where'd you find your hairstylist? Like you really should actually retrace the steps, but please go on. What did you find?
[00:11:07] I found that it wasn't any one technique that a lot of it came from referrals. But I just finished a pretty large engagement from someone who I last spoke to 12 years ago.
[00:11:21] That's awesome. That's and
[00:11:25] I got another client from someone who I had worked with a few [00:11:30] years ago, but he had just referred me. And I happen to engage him. So I also do stand up comedy. And so sometimes I'll email my friends and my colleagues and I'll say, Hey, I've got the show coming up. And so it's Oh, Jason, yeah, I'm not going to your show, but I might have some, a client for you.
[00:11:49] And
[00:11:50] I think sometimes we think, Oh, I have to be so buttoned up and top of mind, in a professional way. And I'm like, Oh my [00:12:00] goodness. But it's true, right? We kind of channel this person that we would hate to hang out with. And we're like, you know what I'm going to do when I build relationships?
[00:12:09] I'm going to be that. And it's, it is a funny thing that we do. Cause I think it's hard sometimes to get vulnerable and show people who we really are and admit that I do have outside interests.
[00:12:20] And that's what we're there for as coaches. for people to transform into whoever they are and whoever they need to be and [00:12:30] want to be.
[00:12:31] And so we're trusting them. We're not telling them what to do. If they if a client comes to me for advice, I'll say what do you think? That's
[00:12:41] always where I started. So I'm like, so what did you figure out so far?
[00:12:45] And because I find like 10, they're not going to listen to me. So I'll say, okay, I will answer your question.
[00:12:51] I'm not ducking it. But tell me what are your options right now? What are you thinking of moving forward? And nine times out of ten, they [00:13:00] get there and they're like, They don't really care what I have to say because they figured it out themselves.
[00:13:06] And so we're
[00:13:06] telling our clients to do that. We need to tell ourselves that hey I'm doing my thing and that's what i'm talking about Finding the magic inside you find out what makes you tick whether you're an organization or an individual and lean into that and what makes you shine?
[00:13:25] That's so good. I think especially in a social media preoccupied kind of a [00:13:30] world, it's so easy to slip into this the comparison trap. And, I have two minds on comparison, and I actually really love your perspective on this one. That saying comparison is the thief of joy.
[00:13:43] I'm like, does that make me some kind of an anti hero? Because I compared myself crazy to people that I admired.
[00:13:52] Yeah.
[00:13:52] And I would look at I would admire the way somebody did a speaking engagement, right? Admire the questions somebody had [00:14:00] asked, or, I was just admiring how you, you have this vibiness that I really love.
[00:14:05] And I think, yeah. What's your take on that? Is comparison the thief of joy or can it actually help you not suck?
[00:14:12] So I play tennis. And I usually play with with other guys, and and guys are men suck. But but guys are, they're just competitive.
[00:14:23] Unless they're coaches, because coaches don't suck.
[00:14:25] Coaches are awesome. Coaches are awesome. And, I'm [00:14:30] competitive, but when I'm playing tennis with a friend, I'm competitive. And I hit a winner, I want him to say, great shot! And that's what I try to cultivate in myself. It's if my opponent hits a great shot, I genuinely are like, wow, that was amazing!
[00:14:48] Now when I screw up, when I hit the ball out, I'm like, oh, okay, so then I'm hard on myself. But what I don't like is when my opponent, [00:15:00] if I hit a good shot and they say, you suck. I'm like clearly you're wrong because I just won the point. But also, Be competitive with yourself, not with someone else.
[00:15:10] So good. So good. Yeah. I love that. I think admiration is a really powerful, but I love that distinction of just yeah, but be your cheerleader too, and just pull insights from wherever you need to be your own champion. And I think that's one of the biggest cases for why I think a lot of coaches [00:15:30] is actually.
[00:15:31] Amazing to me, how many coaches stop themselves from enrolling in a program or enrolling with another coach because they tell themselves the story that they're good enough. And it's if you were good enough at tennis, you would probably win a few of those points, don't you think?
[00:15:45] And if you're not winning the points, it doesn't mean that you at a base soul level suck. It means that you probably need some training and maybe some coaching and maybe some different perspective about how you're approaching the metaphorical [00:16:00] game. Yeah.
[00:16:00] Yeah. I
[00:16:01] love that.
[00:16:02] And, having said all this, I do get envious of my friends and wow, Oh, I can't believe she's done amazing.
[00:16:12] That her business has grown so much. And mine is, but then I also have to remember I have a great work life balance. I'm married to the same man for 25 years. We have an 18 year old son. I've invested a lot of my time. In other things. I served in the legislature. I'm a standup [00:16:30] comedian.
[00:16:30] I opened for Joan rivers. These are like amazing things for, to me. And so I'm like, but my business, I want my business to, this is doing well, but I always want more
[00:16:42] totally get that. I love that because here's the truth about the gap though, is when we have that gap to traverse It's I think, easy to get into that comparison, but at the same time we need that motivational drive, that drive to close that gap, or that drive to [00:17:00] chase after that thing.
[00:17:01] And I'm sure even in stand up comedy, you probably are a lot better now than you were when you very first started.
[00:17:06] Oh, totally. And, yeah, and one of my favorite Zumba instructors, I remember when he just started out, and it's oh.
[00:17:16] Okay
[00:17:16] and now, he's amazing. He's amazing. It's, it's that 10, 000 hour rule.
[00:17:22] You just, you need to put in the time and you'll get better.
[00:17:27] And by the way, that is a reference to the book, I believe, [00:17:30] Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So my show notes are going to be so fun. It's gonna be full of lots of little books. Oh, all
[00:17:38] these books that people can read. Yes.
[00:17:40] Yeah.
[00:17:40] Definitely draw your inspiration from wherever you, you can. I'm glad you brought up and touched on life balance. I think one of the stories that I hear a lot of coaches that are struggling to attract those clients, or they're struggling with the perception that their business isn't growing fast enough, or maybe the reality that it's not growing fast enough.
[00:17:59] What [00:18:00] would you say are like three things that help a coach not to suck?
[00:18:04] Be clear about what you want out of this. Why are you doing this work? If it's just to make money, you're not going to be very successful. But if it's to, to help other people out, then that's, then you're on the right track.
[00:18:17] And just try to get really good at what you do. And let that be a joy. Let that fill you up with inspiration. And So I guess that's one [00:18:30] thing. Another thing would be not suck. Be honest with yourself and understand who you are, what your values are. How are you going to grow your business? Not the same way that Amanda does, not the same way that Jason does, but what's true to you, who are the people that you want to serve?
[00:18:50] How are you going to carve out that market? And how you want to show up. And then the third thing, if I had to pick one, I would say treat yourself with [00:19:00] kindness.
[00:19:01] That
[00:19:02] just don't be so hard on yourself that you're gonna get there. Where you are is great. Think about how far you had to come to where you are now.
[00:19:13] And you're just going to keep going.
[00:19:16] Yeah, got to honor that journey. Jason, this has been just such a joy. And I know people are going to want to follow you. So what's the best way to do that?
[00:19:25] Sure. My website is aplomb. com, A P L O M [00:19:30] B dot com. And you can find me on LinkedIn and look me up. Happy day.
[00:19:36] Yeah. Thanks for joining and thank you for listening in on another segment of the show. Do us a favor, make sure you subscribe so that you don't miss another episode and leave us a five star review so that other people can find the episode and that we can help more coaches live their dreams. We'll see you in another episode.
[00:19:57] Bye bye.
