The Fat Loss Myth: Why Eating Less & Exercising More Doesn’t Work

The Truth About Fat Loss: Why Eating Less & Exercising More Isn’t the Answer

For years, the message has been the same: eat less, work out more, and you’ll lose weight. But what if that advice is actually keeping you stuck? In the latest episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, we sat down with Shar Cheung, a high-performance health coach, to uncover the biggest fat loss myths and reveal the real science behind sustainable weight loss. If you’re tired of restrictive diets, low energy, and inconsistent results, this episode is for you!

The Fat Loss Myth That’s Holding You Back

Most people believe that fat loss is as simple as "calories in, calories out." While energy balance does matter, the quality of your nutrition, your metabolism, and your body’s stress response play a much bigger role than we’ve been led to believe. Shar explained how eating too little and over-exercising can actually work against you.

When we drastically cut calories, our body perceives it as a state of stress. Instead of burning fat efficiently, our metabolism slows down to preserve energy, making it harder to lose weight. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything "right" but still not seeing results, this could be why.

Why Eating More Can Help You Lose Weight

One of the most surprising takeaways from this conversation was the idea that eating more—not less—can actually help with fat loss. Shar explained how under-eating slows down metabolism and makes it harder to burn fat effectively.

🔹 Metabolism adapts to what you give it – If you consistently under-eat, your body lowers its energy expenditure, meaning you burn fewer calories throughout the day. 🔹 Your body needs fuel to function – Without enough calories, your body prioritizes essential functions, leaving you feeling sluggish, fatigued, and prone to cravings. 🔹 Muscle loss is a real risk – Eating too little can cause muscle breakdown, which further slows metabolism and makes fat loss even more challenging.

Shar emphasized that a properly fueled body performs better, burns more calories naturally, and builds muscle more efficiently. The key isn’t starving yourself—it’s feeding your body the right way.

The Power of Habit Stacking for Consistency

Another game-changing strategy discussed was habit stacking—a simple but powerful way to stay consistent with your health goals. If you struggle with making time for workouts, healthy eating, or movement, this method can help you create sustainable habits effortlessly.

Shar shared her own approach: She and her husband love watching The Bachelor, but she made a rule that she has to hit 7,000 steps before she can watch the show. This simple commitment helps her stay accountable to her fitness goals without feeling like a chore.

💡 Try it yourself: Pair an enjoyable activity (like listening to a podcast or watching TV) with a healthy habit (like walking, meal prepping, or stretching). Over time, this makes the habit feel automatic and enjoyable.

Breaking Free from Diet Culture Myths

Many of us grew up believing certain diet culture myths that have shaped the way we approach food and fitness. Shar broke down some of the most common ones:

🚫 "Carbs make you gain weight." → Carbs are essential for energy, recovery, and brain function. It’s about choosing the right carbs, not eliminating them. 🚫 "You need to work out harder to see results." → Over-exercising can lead to burnout and increased stress hormones, making fat loss harder, not easier. 🚫 "Skipping meals helps with weight loss." → Skipping meals often leads to extreme hunger, overeating later, and a slowed metabolism.

The truth? Sustainable weight loss comes from balance, consistency, and nourishing your body properly.

How to Fuel Your Body for Fat Loss

If you’re ready to take a more sustainable and effective approach to fat loss, here’s what Shar recommends:

✅ Prioritize protein – Protein helps with muscle retention, metabolism, and keeps you full longer. ✅ Stop undereating – Fuel your body with whole, nutrient-dense foods that provide the energy you need. ✅ Move daily – It’s not about intense workouts every day. Walking, stretching, and light activity all contribute to long-term results. ✅ Trust the process – Your metabolism adapts over time. Be patient and focus on progress, not perfection.

Final Thoughts: A New Approach to Weight Loss

This conversation was a powerful reminder that weight loss isn’t about deprivation—it’s about nourishment, movement, and creating habits that actually work. If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of dieting, over-exercising, and seeing no results, it’s time to rethink your approach.

What’s one dieting myth you’ve had to unlearn? Drop a comment below! ⬇️

Chapters List

00:00 Introduction to High Performance Coaching

03:10 Shar's Journey from IT to Coaching

06:07 Building Trust and Connection with Clients

09:02 Nutrition and Movement for High Performers

11:50 Practical Tips for Meal Planning

14:53 Understanding Nutritional Periodization

17:46 Conclusion and Resources

Full Transcript

Shar Cheung (00:00)

anytime I was trying to, lose weight, I would automatically think, I gotta work out more.

and eat less and it's not really about calories in calories out there's a lot more to it

Amanda Kaufman (00:26)

Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. I am so pumped to introduce you to my friend Cher Chung, and she is a high performance coach who specializes in helping high performers with their nutrition and with their movement. And I was so pumped to have her join us today because she has made that successful, but sometimes tricky transition from corporate employee

to full-time coach, Shar, welcome to the show.

Shar Cheung (00:59)

Thank you so so much Amanda. I've been looking forward to this conversation for quite a while, so I'm so happy to be here.

Amanda Kaufman (01:05)

Yes, yeah, I'm so, so, so happy to have you. So, Shar, what, just take 30 seconds if you don't mind and share with us, like, is your, what's your joy, what's your specialty, what do you love to help people with with your coaching?

Shar Cheung (01:19)

Oh my gosh. So I just love helping high performing women become better versions of themselves. And it was really based on my own journey and following, like helping women that struggle just like me. So for 25 years, I was a former IT project management consultant. And now I am a perimenopause health and sustainable fat loss coach. So a lot of people are like, wow, that's a complete like 180 in my career. But it really, I was hitting burnout in my IT project management class.

And I found myself at my heaviest weight and I thought I was doing all the right things. I started to eat less, I started to work out more, but I didn't know that I was already under eating and so by doing that I was just putting on additional stress on my body. And I remember waking up and I had just finished this massive project and I was reading all these accolades from like all the executives on jobs well done and I loved hearing that but deep down

I was so upset with myself because I was at my heaviest weight and I was like, am I doing wrong? And that kind of led me into getting help for myself, which I have never done before. So even asking for help was really hard for me. And that just turned into a passion. I found out I was not eating enough. I was exercising way too much, especially for my age, you know, less as more as we age. And I ended up losing 20

Amanda Kaufman (02:25)

Hmm.

Shar Cheung (02:45)

I would get results but none of them will last. And so that just really led me to help other women out there that have struggled just like me. A lot of it is more than just the weight release journey. It's about the stories that we tell ourselves and about loving your body of what it is capable of doing today, knowing that

Amanda Kaufman (02:55)

Yeah.

Shar Cheung (03:10)

It may be a different body in six months or in a year from now. And so I just absolutely love what I do. I had no idea the amount of reward. Like I loved what I did as a project manager and the rewards I would get. But the connections that I have made with women all across the world and helping them become better versions, you can't even, I don't even know. It's really hard to put into words, but I absolutely love what I do.

And when people come to me and they're like, you changed my life. I'm like me, like I'm just a small town farm girl, you know, like that's, you know, and so I just, it's just so rewarding, Amanda. I just absolutely love it.

Amanda Kaufman (03:51)

That's

so that's that's incredible. And you know, I don't know if you knew this, but I also came from a consulting background and, know, I was with with a really big consulting firm and kind of moved through the ranks there. And I totally get what you what you're saying about how it was a very rewarding career at that time. And like, I thought it was incredible. And the most rewarding thing about coaching is for sure the relationships.

that you get to build along the way, being a part of something that is so personal and transformation. And you know, I do more, you know, business coaching, but even so, like what you were saying about the struggle bus of, you know, I'm doing, I can't think of a feeling that is honestly, maybe I can think of a feeling that's worse, but it hurts, it's pretty bad to feel like you're doing all the things and you're working so hard towards a goal and you're not getting anywhere.

Shar Cheung (04:47)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (04:47)

And

like that narrative, like you said of like, well, it must be because it's not for me or it must be because there's something that's fundamentally flawed about me. And the truth of it is, and this is true in business as much as it is in health, you know, the truth is you're probably working plenty hard. Like that's not actually the thing. You actually need something else, something different. And there's something about your assumptions about what you need to do that is keeping you in that stuck.

Shar Cheung (05:09)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (05:16)

So yeah, I think it can be really hard for anyone to ask for help when they feel like they're already, you know, doing something and working so hard, right?

Shar Cheung (05:17)

Yeah.

100%.

100%.

It is, it is. Because you might think that you're doing all the right things and so then you start to think what's wrong with me and there's literally nothing wrong with you. It's just, I always like to look at it, what is your current diet and let's tweak your current diet. As opposed to, know, when women think about losing weight or, you know, releasing weight, the right away they think about, I gotta go to the gym. And it really starts with your nutrition. Because anytime I was trying to, you know, lose weight, I would automatically think, I gotta work out more.

and eat less and it's not really about calories in calories out there's a it's there's a lot more to it

so yeah

Amanda Kaufman (06:03)

Yeah,

yeah, that's so many parallels in the business world, right? So with all that, I am just like so curious because we've got a lot of people who listen to this show that are, you know, launching a business, starting a business. They may be a health coach just like you, but they may be also just in a different area. And one of the things we've already talked about is how the customer is often hesitant to ask for help.

Shar Cheung (06:07)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (06:31)

So I am curious, like what have you figured out works really well as a coach to create the safety that's needed for somebody to choose you as a provider of a new pathway and a new way of doing things? How do you get past that fear that people have of even asking for help? What have you figured out?

Shar Cheung (06:51)

So for me, it's building that connection and that trust with people. So a lot of what I share on my social media, like I share everything.

Amanda Kaufman (06:55)

Yeah.

Shar Cheung (07:00)

So, you know, because a lot of people will want to work with me, but then, you know, a lot of objections is I can't afford it. I said, OK, well, then follow my content because I give it all away there or come to my master classes because I truly want every every woman to feel like I do. Right. There are there are answers. And so I love to engage with all of my followers. And even if I haven't talked to them in like three or four months, I'll be like, hey, like, how are you doing? Like, I truly, genuinely, genuinely care. And I think they feel that from me in the.

energy exchange that I have with them just online or I'll send them a little voice note be like hey you crossed my mind like I truly like when people cross my mind I will take a moment to be like hey you crossed my mind for whatever reason I just want to send you a little love bomb right and

Amanda Kaufman (07:29)

Mm-hmm.

I love that. That's

such a great tactic. That's so good.

Shar Cheung (07:45)

Yeah, and that's really what it is all about and providing the value, right? I have a lot of free resources as well that they can get from me. it's just, I think the more I can spread the message out there about the importance of nutrition, the better I will feel. just, really on this mission to really make an impact.

Amanda Kaufman (08:03)

Goodness, so listener, seriously, listen to how Shar is talking about her business. Like she is clearly like, not to talk behind your back, right in front of you, but you're so clearly connected to the mission. like, I really wanna call out something that you said because it's very much my philosophy as well, which is you are very generous online. Like you are not worried about people, you know,

Shar Cheung (08:12)

Hahaha!

Amanda Kaufman (08:29)

getting the, what is it, why get the cow if you get the milk for free? Like people kind of have these really scarce mindsets about the knowledge. And it's like, I really hate to break it to anybody who's listening, but there's nothing that you know that cannot be found on ChatGBT or YouTube. So then why does somebody pick a coach? It's because of the trust, and it's because of the authentic connection, and it's because of the care that you have as a human that's not.

Shar Cheung (08:34)

Right?

100%.

Amanda Kaufman (08:58)

Replicable by an AI, right? Or a YouTube channel, right? Yeah.

Shar Cheung (09:00)

Yeah, 100%.

Yep, yep. And the accountability, right?

That you get from just having a coach, being your cheerleader. Because oftentimes we tell our these stories like, I can't do this or, you I can't control myself around food when it's at the office. And it's like, well, if you have that belief, you're going to keep following that. So it's like just, you know, we do a lot of like work on limiting beliefs and changing that belief, like just changing the word around, like I have control over the food. Like there will always be food on the table, right? Because I grew up in a household of there was seven

Amanda Kaufman (09:17)

Thank

Mm-hmm.

Shar Cheung (09:31)

of us in the house. have two sisters and two brothers and so for us we were never allowed to leave the table until we finished our plates and that yeah right?

Amanda Kaufman (09:40)

That was my house too. Yeah, we were in the same

house, same farmhouse. Yeah.

Shar Cheung (09:44)

Right? same farmhouse. and

and so we would sit there regardless if we were full like we would have to finish our plates until we left and that habit stuck with me for years. So I remember eating like till I was disgustingly full having to undo my top button. But now I can like say like hey, there's gonna be food there tomorrow. You know, I can leave food on my plate. It's okay. Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (10:08)

Yeah,

and I mean, like it was also such a different time too. Like, you know, when I, when I think back to that, it's like, I was a hardcore figure skater. So I was on the rink and in the cold, like all the time. So for me, my food was, was fuel that was getting used up in a really big way. And so, you know, that

that kind of farmhouse mentality. I didn't grow up on the farm, my mother did, but I get it of like, you don't waste food, but there was also that went with that, a lifestyle of movement and being out and working and like burning the calories. And I think a lot of people don't realize how much food has evolved in the last like 20 years or so.

Shar Cheung (10:36)

You get it.

Amanda Kaufman (10:57)

to be much more calorie dense, much more processed. And simultaneously, our lifestyles have become so sedentary as we're staying connected to devices and all of that kind of thing. it's kind of innocent roots, right? But if you don't change the pattern, nothing's gonna change. Yeah.

Shar Cheung (11:06)

Yes.

Yeah.

It is. You suck. That's exactly it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (11:22)

So for somebody who is a high performer who has a, well, you can just talk to me, Shar. Just talk to me, right? I do really just personally struggle with prioritizing meal planning. It's tough also because as a high performer, I actually leave the food prep to my dear husband who does a lovely job, but he's also a giant work out-y man versus me.

Shar Cheung (11:30)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (11:50)

I am very much, you know, more sedentary, struggle with making the time to do like walking and things like that. So if you were to say, hey, Amanda, just focus on these top three things, what would you tell me to do?

Shar Cheung (12:03)

I would tell you to, know, walking is one of them, so I would challenge you to maybe get a different setup maybe in your office. So for me, I have a desk job.

Amanda Kaufman (12:13)

So here's the horrible thing,

it's right there. I sit next to it every day, right? So yeah.

Shar Cheung (12:19)

Yeah. So.

So what I love to do and how I coach my clients is, and this is a concept from James Clear from his book Atomic Habits, is you habit stack it, right? You do something that you want, that you need to do, and you pair it with something you want to do almost. So for me, that example is like, my husband and I love to watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. And so for me, like that's kind of our guilty pleasure. I wanna do that. But in order for me to do that, I make a commitment to myself that I have to get a minimum of 7,000 steps.

Amanda Kaufman (12:31)

Okay.

You

Shar Cheung (12:53)

every day, 7,000. And if I don't get it, then I don't get to watch it. Like that's almost my reward on the back end of doing the thing that I should be doing and need to be doing versus the thing I want to be doing, which is watching The Bachelorette with my husband. You know? So, so things like that. When I first started my journey, I like I'm sedentary, I sit behind a desk. So my steps were like two to three thousand a day. I have to be intentional to get these steps in. And I know the importance of just daily movement.

Amanda Kaufman (13:06)

I love that. That's a great strategy.

Shar Cheung (13:20)

So that's number one is just get your body moving. Okay Number two is focusing on on protein we are as a society and we are under muscled and under under protein and so ensuring you're eating the right amount of protein and when I Work with clients when I because I work off data so I like to them to you know track their food for a good two weeks and then once we have that Data we can then

Amanda Kaufman (13:24)

Mm-hmm.

Hmm

Shar Cheung (13:47)

see kind of where they're at in terms of their macro breakdown, where their carbs sitting out, where your protein, where your fats, and then we work on a plan to get them to where they should be. Because most often what I see, women are eating around 60 to 80 grams of protein a day, where it should be around 120, 130. I mean, it's different for every woman.

Amanda Kaufman (14:08)

Whoa,

that's a big gap.

Shar Cheung (14:10)

Yes, it's huge. And this is a reason why I don't do one-time macro calculations because if I gave you Amanda one-time macro calculation and you saw that you had to be eating 120 or 130 grams of protein and you're sitting way down here at 60, you're gonna feel like you're coming out to the farm and eating a side of cow. And you're not gonna feel.

Amanda Kaufman (14:29)

Seriously, I'm

like, that's a lot. That's a big difference. Yeah.

Shar Cheung (14:32)

And you're

not going to feel successful. So I like to take where they're currently at and we slowly increase it at a rate that they feel comfortable. We actually define a whole roadmap to get them to where they should be. And once they get to where they should be, it becomes natural. So we focus on the habits and the standards for it.

Amanda Kaufman (14:53)

That makes a ton of sense too,

because as you change the mix of the macros, even before you start looking at the caloric intake, you just shift the proportions. That's already going to have an effect. And then as you lose the weight, your caloric demands go down as well. so it strikes me that you would have to constantly be revisiting this, maybe not neurotically so, but you'd have to periodically be revisiting it because what would have worked for you a month ago won't work.

Shar Cheung (15:01)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (15:21)

in the next month and the next month during that journey. And then of course what you need during maintenance, right?

Shar Cheung (15:26)

Yeah, that's

exactly it. I love how you're already talking the lingo maintenance and recovery and fat loss phase. Yeah, I love it. But yeah, that's so true. Like you're people think like macros are one and done calculation and it's not yet. There's there's almost three sets of different macro calculations. There's one for fat loss. There's one for the recovery or reverse. And then there's there's one for maintenance maintenance, though, is like. Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (15:33)

Yes.

Can you explain recovery for me? Like, I think I understood

the loss and the maintenance, but what's that third one?

Shar Cheung (15:54)

Yeah, the recovery, so this is what is not talked about at all. what, like, Noom, Weight Watchers, pretty much all the diet programs out there are really good at getting women the fat loss. What they're really horrible about with is how to get women out of that fat loss over to living up maintenance. Because we should be living up maintenance the majority of the year. But women are under eating and 90 % of my clientele are not eating enough. And so what the recovery or reverse is,

is we take where they currently are and we slowly add calories back into their diet until they reach their maintenance. So I like to use the analogy, Amanda, is your metabolism is a direct mirror of what you're telling it to do. So if you're under eating, so your metabolism is just sitting down here. And I like to use like wood and fire as an analogy. So wood is your food and your fire is your metabolism. So if you don't put any wood on your metabolism,

Amanda Kaufman (16:48)

Thank

Shar Cheung (16:49)

Sit down here same with your food if you don't if you don't feed your metabolism It's just gonna lay down here and use the calories that you are eating basically for your basic needs for digesting sleeping and that So the recovery process what we do is we slowly add calories and I usually Depend on the client because there's a lot of mindset work because we equate eating more food to gaining weight, right? That's just what we what we're accustomed to a diet culture has led us to believe but what actually

Amanda Kaufman (16:59)

Yeah.

Shar Cheung (17:16)

happens

you start eating or eating more your metabolism will then Kick up add a little bit more to kick up a week and we do this until you until you reach your maintenance and when you're at maintenance this is then where I kind of coach my clients to go from like tracking to more intuitive eating because now your metabolism has been optimized because you're now supporting your body with the fuel you need and And it's just such a beautiful place to be so the whole the whole like

It's called nutritional periodization. So everyone will need a recovery after a fat loss phase like everyone that's how you get out of a fat loss phase. Yeah, so it's fat loss recovery or reverse and then maintenance. So that's kind of the cycle and where you start in that cycle depends on your goals and what your current eating habits are. But then like I said, the majority of my women that I work with are not are under eating. So we actually start at the recovery, which is actually the fabulous place to

Amanda Kaufman (17:54)

Interesting. Okay, cool.

Shar Cheung (18:15)

Because if you're still learning macros and learning all the habits if you jump right into a fat loss phase and you're in you're struggling just getting the habits down and the things that are gonna propel you forward you're gonna feel Like you're not succeeding which you still are but you're still just really focused on that fat loss If that makes sense. Yeah Yeah

Amanda Kaufman (18:33)

Wow, yeah, this is awesome, Shar. What

is the best way for, I wish we could do a little bit longer and maybe we have to do a part two. But Shar, what is the best way for people to follow you?

Shar Cheung (18:41)

Yeah.

Yeah, so I'm on social media. So Instagram is probably where I have the most followers. We just launched TikTok this year. I was trying to stay off TikTok for a while, but you can find me on there. It's under Designed by Char and it's S-H-A-R. I have a bunch of freebies there, it's Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. But Instagram seems to be my most popular platform. And if you DM me the word guide, I can give you like a free fat loss guide where I actually talk about nutritional periodization in there as well.

Amanda Kaufman (19:07)

Awesome.

Shar Cheung (19:14)

So yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (19:14)

Amazing and listener will make sure to

have Shars links below so you don't have to go anywhere just check the show notes for that and Before you go dear listener make sure that you subscribe and take 30 seconds to leave us a review Because it helps people to choose this show when they're going for their walk washing their dishes driving in the commute We really appreciate your support and go ahead and share this episode with three friends that you feel would love to hear more about

what Char is talking about here. Nutrition is a huge part of high performance. I'm so excited to have had you here on the show. Can't wait to have you back already. Thank you so much for coming, Char.

Shar Cheung (19:53)

Awesome, thank you again for having me, I appreciate it.

Amanda Kaufman (19:56)

All

right, thank you everybody. We'll see you soon.