How to Get Off the Sidelines and Into Your Life

How to Get Off the Sidelines and Into Your Life

There’s something I hear from so many brilliant coaches and entrepreneurs—people who are deeply passionate, certified, and ready to serve: “I’ll show up when I lose the weight.” Or “Once I feel more confident, then I’ll go live.” Sound familiar?

In this powerful episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, I had the joy of sitting down with embodiment coach Emily Wishall to unpack why so many of us hold ourselves back from visibility—and what it really takes to get off the sidelines and into our lives.

The Hidden Cost of Waiting to Be Ready

When I started my own journey as a coach, I didn’t want to be on video. I didn’t want to take pictures. I didn’t want to embody anything—I just wanted to hide. I believed that if I wasn’t in the “right” body, I wasn’t qualified to be seen as a leader.

But here's the truth: this belief that we have to “fix” ourselves before we’re allowed to lead is not just false—it’s deeply harmful. And Emily shared how that pattern often begins early. For many women, it starts in childhood. A comment. A comparison. A moment where we begin to see our bodies as problems.

And from that place of disconnection, we start disqualifying ourselves from the things we desire most.

What Is Embodiment, Really?

“Embodiment is the ability and capacity to, at any given moment, choose to actually inhabit your body,” Emily shared. “It’s a sense of being versus thinking.”

Think about that. In a world that encourages us to analyze, compare, and perform—embodiment invites us to feel and be.

Emily offered a simple practice anyone can do: Focus on your hands. Not just thinking about them, but feeling inside them. That shift from mental to physical presence is where embodiment begins.

It’s a powerful practice that grounds us in the present moment—and reconnects us with our truth.

Why This Matters for Coaches and Entrepreneurs

As coaches, we’re often told to lead from experience. But what happens when our experience is riddled with shame and self-doubt? When our internal narrative whispers, “You’re too much. You’re not enough. Who are you to lead?”

Emily reminded us that you don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to be five sizes smaller or five certifications deeper. You simply need to be a few steps ahead of the person you’re meant to serve.

In fact, your honesty about the journey—your willingness to say, “I’m still growing, and here’s what I’ve learned”—is what builds real trust and connection.

Healing Starts in the Light

One of my favorite moments in our conversation was when Emily said, “Shame feeds itself by living in the shadows.” It’s so true.

We often think we need to overcome shame before we speak out. But sometimes, the act of speaking—of verbalizing what we’ve kept hidden—is the very thing that begins to set us free.

When you share your story, you invite others to see themselves in it. And in doing so, you break the illusion that you’re alone.

Embodiment Builds Resilience

As we talked, Emily described a pivotal moment in her journey when she finally felt at home in her body—not because she was trying to “fix” it, but because she was listening to it.

She explained that when we’re constantly holding tension—sucking in our stomachs, performing confidence, presenting a perfect front—we’re like stretched rubber bands. Always taut. Always at risk of snapping.

Embodiment allows us to soften. To reconnect. To build resilience not from perfection, but from presence.

You Deserve to Be in the Room—Now

If you’ve been waiting for permission to show up, consider this your invitation.

Your clients don’t need you to be flawless—they need you to be real. They need your presence, your voice, your heart. And that starts with reconnecting to yourself.

Try the practice Emily shared. Take three minutes each morning to simply breathe and notice your body. Feel your feet on the ground. Your breath in your chest. That’s how you start building a different kind of confidence—one rooted in truth.

And if you’re curious about diving deeper, Emily offers a free guided embodiment meditation called “Stop the Body Hate” on her website. It’s a beautiful place to start.

You’re Not Alone in This

Remember, you’re not the only one who’s ever felt held back by body image, shame, or the fear of visibility. But you are the one who gets to decide how long you stay on the sidelines.

You don’t need to be perfect to lead. You just need to be willing to take the first step—back into your body, back into your truth, and back into your life.

Chapters List

00:00 Introduction to Embodiment Coaching

02:51 The Importance of Body Positivity

06:10 Defining Embodiment

10:24 Personal Transformations and Body Awareness

15:29 Overcoming Self-Doubt in Coaching

21:12 Resources for Embodiment Practice

Full Transcript

Emily Wishall (00:00)

There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in the shadows, by making you think you're alone,

Amanda Kaufman (00:29)

Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. And I am so excited about this episode because frankly, this is a conversation that I wish that I had like eight years ago when I was very first starting my entrepreneurial journey as a coach. But, you know, universe works the way it does. And so I got a chance to meet Emily Wishall, who is an embodiment coach. She's a certified Rollfer and

author of Radical Embodiment, a practical guide to celebrating the skin you're in. And she helps women break free from body shame, self-doubt and exhaustion so they can reclaim confidence, strength and sensuality and step fully into their lives. Like I said, I was really excited to meet Emily. We are paths crossed as they do in the entrepreneurial circuits.

And I was just blown away with the body of knowledge that she had, but also the way she talked about it. So I couldn't wait to have her on the show to talk about embodiment and confidence and all the things. Emily, welcome to the show.

Emily Wishall (01:35)

Well, thanks, Amanda. I'm happy to be here. What a nice intro and greeting.

Amanda Kaufman (01:40)

my pleasure, my pleasure. Now, the reason why I said that, I wanted to know you eight years ago, and I'm glad we met now, but geez, you know, sometimes, sometimes you just sort of think, what would life have been like? You know, when I very first started, I didn't want to take a picture. I didn't want to be on video. I didn't want to embody. I didn't want anybody to see my body. I had so much, you know, shame and negativity and all that that I...

I did then had to work through. did a lot of work. But I wonder if meeting somebody like you a lot sooner might have helped me, you know, meet me where I was at and go the path even faster. So that's why I'm like so excited to have you on the show, because I know that that's not a unique experience, you know. A lot of entrepreneurs and especially female entrepreneurs really hold themselves back from visibility and from the things that are like necessities to success.

but it's because there's something else that's like going on in a much deeper way. So you shared your mission is to help women get off the sideline of their lives. And it sparked in me. was like, wow, you why that mission? You could do anything because you are super knowledgeable, but why is that so important to you?

Emily Wishall (02:47)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I mean there's a lot there and I just appreciate you sharing a little of your own journey and I'm like, wow, look at you now, not only podcast, but like you're on video too and doing that consistently and regularly. Like you're being so, you know, visible and that's a big thing, right? Maybe for a lot of entrepreneurs, but I think a lot of women and that's, specifically work with.

with women and however someone identifies of course can be struggling with these things. I just identify as female and that's the lane that I know and can really hold and so that's why, that's the lane I choose to be, stay in. But it can be hard to be visible, right? Because we have so many self judgments or what we see online and compare ourselves to that and so there's a lot there. But in regards to your...

specific question of why is my mission to help women get off the sidelines is because of my own story because of years of feeling like I wasn't enough because I felt like I was in quotes you know fat I was too fat and I first felt that at age eight which is insane and unfortunately that's a very very common experience maybe doesn't always happen at eight years old for women but I know for most of the clients I work with pretty much all it started in childhood when they started to

dislike their body, when they started to pull apart their body, from that, those judgments, they would pull apart themselves, right? We go into these stories of making it mean something about our enoughness, or because of the shape or size of our body, it has something to do with our sense of worthiness. And there can be this underlying current.

whether it is very conscious or whether it is maybe more on the subconscious level running the show for so many women that has them believe they can't go after and have what they desire in life until their body looks a certain way or until they lose the five pounds or get back into those jeans they wore, you know, pre-pregnancy or in college, that, you they can't.

be really visible in their business, right? It's like, okay, I'm doing okay, I'm doing well in my business, but not going to the next level. Or very common for me to work with women who are single and want to be dating, but are holding themselves back because they don't feel great. Or also very common, know, a lot of my clients are in long-term partnerships and their intimacy has kind of dwindled and a big piece is they don't feel good in their body. And I know what it's like to be on that side, right? And that constant preoccupation, like mental framework of, my God, like,

Amanda Kaufman (05:02)

Yeah.

Emily Wishall (05:16)

my body's you know doesn't look at I'm going to this networking event I better suck in my stomach and project I have it all together and the exhaustion that comes with that right and also just like not feeling authentic or true to who I am and I know what it's like to be on the other side of I don't wake up and spend an hour at the minimum of figuring out what am I gonna wear that I don't look fat in or what am I gonna eat today and being like in a way that's so restrictive or so

Amanda Kaufman (05:25)

right.

Emily Wishall (05:42)

hyper-focused instead of, like, you know, an exciting place or nourishment. And so I know how much life force and energy it frees up when we can really learn to come into loving relationship with our body, which I believe is through learning how to actually inhabit our body. And that's why I want to help other women is like our mission and our purpose for most of us women isn't to lose the five pounds, right? We don't have to like...

carry that to our grave. Instead, if we can help shift that narrative that our worth or enoughness is tied to our physical weight and appearance, we freeze up so much life force to really go after what we want to create in this lifetime. Yeah. So that's why I'm so posh. There's a lot of my own story and wanting to shift this, right? Shift it for myself, shift it for my clients, for my nieces, for young women of...

Amanda Kaufman (06:23)

Mmm, that's so good.

Emily Wishall (06:34)

We can take that. Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (06:34)

What was that?

I'm just so curious, like, what was that signal moment for you when you realized that that that old way of thinking and that old way of being was no longer OK? was it was it kind of like a major moment for you where you just changed your mind or did something happen? I'm just so curious, like what that was for you that kind of snapped you into

Emily Wishall (06:57)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (06:59)

the wake up call that you gotta go and find another way in a new path.

Emily Wishall (07:03)

Yeah, that's a good question. There was a lot of, a few, lots of smaller moments and then there were a few very profound moments. And what I will share is I wasn't...

at least in the moments that it captured me and what they came from, like these significant moments weren't from, wasn't actively thinking like, yeah, this is gonna make me love my body or this is finally gonna make me thin, I'm finally gonna be thin. And it wasn't actually just looking at mindset. That was not it. I mean, I'm a huge fan of mindset work. It's so important. Yet why I think so many women actually stay stuck in this narrative is they're only looking at the mindset and the body isn't a part of it. You know, someone even told me about

a program, let's say anyway, recently that she has and it's awesome and she's like, yeah, and because I'm the embodiment person, she's like, yeah, one day we do embodiment in there and I'm just thinking, you gotta be freaking kidding me. You don't do embodiment in a day. I love that it's trending and unfortunately I think people think, yeah, I tried, this embodiment course and I'm embodied for the rest of my life and I'm like, embodiment is a daily courageous con...

Amanda Kaufman (08:05)

I mean, yeah, mastering

anything is not a one day endeavor. Like, you know, you can get a piece of paper at the end of the day. You know, you can get a piece of paper even at the end of four years. you know, and like, I think about this before we go too much further, one thing I really wanted to make sure we did on this show is can you please define the word embodiment? Because it is getting thrown around a lot.

Emily Wishall (08:26)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (08:28)

you know, and sometimes by people like yourself who like you have a very specific meaning and you know, you know what that means. You're trained and all of that. There's a lot of people throwing it around that, you know, it's to sound like they know what they're talking about. So what is embodiment?

Emily Wishall (08:40)

Mm.

Yeah, and I'll answer that and then I will just answer the other question because I was going on a tangent.

So honey, I have a podcast that's not been active for like two years. It's on break until and in death, know until who knows when but it would called radical embodiment and I have a lot of guests on it and all the guests I would ask what embodiment means to them. That was the first question and they were all movers people in that world right coaches somatic Hewler folks and everyone has their own unique kind of definition and flavor to me embodiment is having the ability

Amanda Kaufman (08:48)

You're right. ⁓

Yeah.

Emily Wishall (09:16)

and capacity to at any given moment choose to actually inhabit your body. And it's a sense of being versus thinking. So, you know, a quick example for anyone listening who is still like, yeah, I hear about embodiment. I've been told to drop into my body. I'm still like, the, like, what the, like, what does that mean?

Amanda Kaufman (09:24)

Mmm.

Emily Wishall (09:38)

is to think about your hands. Our hands are generally somewhat neutral in regards to not a lot of emotional charge or judgment. And so just think about your hands and notice what, okay, I'm thinking about my hands. And then start to notice if you can actually feel inside your hands.

And for most people, don't judge yourself if you don't feel anything, but for most, it's all like, I've always come out this with gentle curiosity and be like, isn't that interesting? But for most people, they can at least feel inside their hands. And there's a very distinct difference between thinking about being in your hands versus being in your hands. So I think it's this beingness. And I really believe embodiment brings us, anchors us to the present moment.

Amanda Kaufman (10:16)

Hmm.

Emily Wishall (10:23)

to the now experience. And that is why for me it's so essential on our journey of getting off the sidelines and getting into the game of life, if that's where we're at, of when we're in the present moment, we're in the now experience, we're in our power, we're in our capital T truth, our mind isn't going into comparison or lack or...

overly tracking what's going to happen after this or what happened in the past. We're just here. And there's an ease with that. Where we're not just trying to brain power like, I am enough or I belong here. Right? It's a deep knowingness. So that's what I would say embodiment means to me. And why it's the biggest part of my work is all around the body is you would ask what were some key moments

Amanda Kaufman (10:52)

Mm-hmm.

Emily Wishall (11:13)

And there was two, but I'll share one is, so I am a certified Rolfer, if you don't know what that is. The word comes from Dr. Ida Rolfe. She called the work structural integration. So in structural integration in Rolfeing, we're working with the fascia, which is our soft tissue skeleton that holds all of our emotions, all of our traumas, all of our stories, our consciousness.

as well as gives our body structural integrity, so holds our muscles together, holds our organs in place. And I work with a nervous system as well. And through receiving that work, I was out on a walk one night and that's when it struck me. I had this huge sense of like, my God, like it feels so easy to walk. I feel like I'm gliding. And so I kind of checked in with my body and noticed, wow, I'm totally upright. I'm standing, I'm totally aligned, but it feels easy.

I'm not efforting to do that. And when I had that recognition, I immediately had huge tears. I had this huge emotional release because it was the first time I recognized for myself, I had this posture. I'd been holding all of my life of, my chest up, my stomach sucked in, right? Like, quote unquote, good, rigid posture were taught. But I had it in a way of the reason I walked through the room. I one, was what I was taught and trained. I didn't know how to stand or be otherwise.

Amanda Kaufman (12:04)

and... and...

Emily Wishall (12:32)

But it was also my way of projecting out into the world that like, was okay. I've got it together, right? I've got it figured out. When in reality, I was crumbling inside. When in reality, right, I'm sucking in my stomach because I feel ashamed of my belly, of my organs. And that was a huge, huge pivotal starting moment of really, really knowing and feeling what is it like to be in my body and specifically.

Amanda Kaufman (12:42)

Mm.

Emily Wishall (12:58)

having this huge sense of, my god, I can be connected to this inherent strength and support in my body where the rest of this extrinsic shell, these larger muscle groups can soften. And so I can show up authentically and vulnerably because I have that inherent support. But I'm not trying to, yeah, so that was just one.

Amanda Kaufman (13:19)

Mm.

You're making me think of like, elastic band that's always that tension, you know, and if you've got this elastic band that's always a tension and then you challenge that elastic band to stretch even more, that feels metaphorically like how a lot of us are, you know, and have been raised to be is like, okay, I'm going to put all this effort into my outward expression, stretching the band, but then you get challenged and maybe you're

you're physically challenged at the gym or you're challenged by needing to be on Zoom calls all day, all week, or you know, you're speaking and you're doing like these things that challenge your physicality even more. So it's like you're trying to stretch that band, but it's already stretched out, right? And when you were describing that feeling of coming to alignment, was like, it was basically...

Emily Wishall (14:05)

exact.

Amanda Kaufman (14:11)

the rubber band was able to kind of come back to this place that I imagine that it actually made you more resilient to challenges, more resilient to being able to step up. I'm guessing. You tell me, like, is that an experience you see a lot of people have?

Emily Wishall (14:22)

1000 %? What's

that?

Amanda Kaufman (14:28)

Is that an experience you see a lot of people have where they like kind of realize they're putting all their energy into like holding this shell of who they are versus relaxing into it so that they can actually give real push where they really want to.

Emily Wishall (14:41)

Yeah, yeah, and totally, totally.

And I think the analogy you gave is really, is really good and valid. And I would use that rubber band analogy and not like in all levels, right? Physically, emotionally, energetically, and when we're stretched, when we're at that taut space.

we're so much more reactive, right? We're so much more likely to like kind of snap. We don't have that resilience. We don't have this space physically, emotionally, energetically for things to move through us. So we get stuck more likely in all of habituated patterns that don't really serve us or aren't how we want to show up. So 1000 % yeah, for me after that experience was huge and how I began to show up as a leader to my clients in my community.

It's what we really, I mean this was, this would have been at least 10 years, more than 10 years ago, I don't know, at least 10 years ago, a little more than 10 years ago, long while ago. So it was at the start of my business, it was huge, was right before I had started my business in regards to helping me and creating, you know, my business when I came from a place of...

I was deeply, deeply insecure most of my life because of how I felt like I looked or how I thought my body wasn't enough. That was just one pivotal moment, one piece. There's many more, but that was a huge shift of starting to also orient a bit. I'm not intellectual. It's not an intellectual shift. We can talk about it and verbalize it, but until you actually experience it, there's no true change.

Amanda Kaufman (16:16)

Absolutely, absolutely. is really amazing how much of our experience in the world and in ourselves can be constructed in the mind. It's almost like you're running a simulation that is separate from the reality of the world and the reality of your body and the reality of all these things. And like you said, there's so much strong conditioning to do so. It's very understandable and explainable why.

You do talk a lot about body shame and like cultural conditioning. I'm so curious what you would have to say to coaches and entrepreneurs who feel like they have to fix themselves before they can help other people. Like, is that something that you do a lot of reframing around? How do you approach that conversation?

Emily Wishall (16:47)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and just to clarify your question, in what ways might they feel like they need to fix themselves? Or is that just general? Is it, yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (17:12)

I

think it's in general, but I'll give you a specific example. I work with lot of certified coaches that have different certifications from XYZ. And those certifications are like, got the process. You've got the process, you've gone through the training, you know how to do the thing. You have a product, you have a service that you can offer to the world. And yet most coaches that I work with, and that's a lot of them, still don't give themselves permission.

to embody coach. Like they're not necessarily claiming their self leadership. They're not claiming their capacity to have a positive impact on other people, even if intellectually they are very qualified to do so. So I know for myself, I became a certified high performance coach, but that was a dream eight years in the making. For eight years, I was like, really want to do this, know, want to do a version of this.

Emily Wishall (17:52)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (18:05)

thing is I'm too fat, right? And, and I talk about that very, very bluntly because that was what was actually happening in my head. And, you know, I think sometimes even the cultural conditioning is like, don't say what you're actually thinking or what you're really worried about. You know, talk about other issues, side issues, side quests, but really I was disqualifying myself for a long time from being a high performance coach and

I wasn't giving the market a chance to disqualify me. wasn't letting the chips fall where they may and playing full out from whatever shape I was at and whatever capability and competency I was at. And that's something I had to learn how to do. And I just see that pattern played out a lot in the entrepreneurial space. So I'm just so curious, if somebody does feel like they have to fix themselves first, they got to get to that goal weight or they've got to get to

Emily Wishall (18:46)

in the room.

Amanda Kaufman (18:58)

you know, some different level of presentation or, you know, the other thing I see is like endlessly requalifying, endlessly taking on more beta clients and undercharging. And it's not undercharging at first because we all need to get that experience, but it becomes undercharging when you already have all of that experience. So what would you say to somebody who's going through that cycle?

Emily Wishall (19:02)

you

Yeah.

right.

Yeah, yeah, I mean it is really relatable and thanks for sharing your own journey, right? And that sounds like you've already been really open and candid on that already, because I think, you you briefly mentioned the word body shame earlier and...

There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in the shadows, by making you think you're alone, right?

So it's this thing that like, oof, I push down here and I don't actually share it with people who bring light. And one of the best ways we can begin to heal shame and break free from that is by verbalizing it, by letting it come into the light and be seen. Because we start to recognize,

god I'm not alone. Other people come up to us, my god I've had that similar experience or this is how I related to that, which is huge and essential, right? We're not alone in our journeys. We're all unique and yet some of us we have similar struggles and so in regards to yeah some a coach feeling like they need to fix themselves or be at that goal right before they can really start doing the work they want.

What I would start with is I actually think you just need to be a couple steps ahead of your client.

Right? Like you just need to be a little further along the road of your ideal client. And actually, I think sometimes some of the most skilled, supportive coaches are ones that aren't too far in their journey from their ideal client because they can really relate and connect and help their client. What is the next stepping stone? What is the next stepping stone? So that's where I'd start. And then as far as really though owning your expertise and your skill is

Amanda Kaufman (20:27)

Mm-hmm.

Emily Wishall (20:54)

Start some sort of practice every day, even just three to five minutes, where all you're doing is you're dropping down into your body, you're breathing, you're connecting with your body.

And I know that even the language of dropping into your body can feel very foreign to a lot of people. So if that's the case for you, do something where you can feel texture, right? Feeling your feet on the floor bouncing, shaking. But something with intentionality in a container where you're actually checking in and feeling, dropping into the present moment, dropping into your breath.

Because from there, when you can connect there, connecting into your truth, it can help you really feel like, right, I do like to know. Not just, again, we're not just like trying to mentally overpower, like, yeah, I got it, I got it. Because that's when you'll fall short. It's like mental gymnastics. It's exhausting, right? Like it works for a little bit. It's not gonna work in the long haul. You have to keep like coaching yourself internally. But starting to train yourself,

Amanda Kaufman (21:52)

on.

Emily Wishall (21:54)

When you're in a safe container, ideally like maybe first thing in the morning, right, when you're not in a charged situation or a situation where you might want to shrink, of okay, can I just for three minutes, can I just be present in my body? Can I just breathe? Can I just be present?

with myself and how I'm feeling, how I'm actually really feeling under the surface and be present and gift myself that time. Because that in of itself is such a exercise in your own sense of self-worth, like gifting yourself that every day. So.

Amanda Kaufman (22:27)

I love that.

Emily Wishall (22:28)

That's what I would

Amanda Kaufman (22:28)

I love that.

Emily Wishall (22:29)

start with is knowing, yeah, you just need you don't need to be at the end goal. You just need to be, you know, further down the road from your ideal client. We're all human. We're not. It's not about being perfection. And I know about you, but like I don't want to work with a coach who's quote unquote perfect because I wouldn't trust them.

Amanda Kaufman (22:38)

and ⁓

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you need to have some vulnerability for sure. Emily, this has been such a pleasure. What is the best way for people to follow you?

Emily Wishall (22:56)

Yeah, I mean this would be a good segue too because if someone is like, dropping my body is really hard or I don't really, I close my eyes, I feel nothing. I have a free practice that's downloadable on my website. If you go to EmilyWishall.com, it's on the homepage and you can just fill out your name and email. It's called Stop the Body Hate, but it's a specific guided meditation where I will guide you into your body step by step.

with the intention of helping to slow down that mental...

Framework right so if the mental thoughts are you know I'm not a bet I'm not enough or I'm too fat or I can't be coaching yet I don't have the skills You know it could be related to your body and how you're feeling but it doesn't have to be it will all support you in coming into the present moment and feeling your truth So yeah, so if you go to Emily wish all calm. It's on the home page Just about name and email, and you'll get the guided audio and a detailed PDF

Amanda Kaufman (23:50)

That's fantastic and I can't wait to grab it and dear listener, we will include that link in the show notes, also all of Emily's socials, her website, all the things. Emily, thank you so much for joining us on the show.

Emily Wishall (24:02)

Thank you for having me, Amanda. It was fun. It was a pleasure. Yeah, thanks for letting me get to share. And to all the listeners, thanks for listening in. And hopefully there is some good takeaways to help you in your journey.

Amanda Kaufman (24:15)

Absolutely. And hey, don't miss another episode. Make sure you hit that subscribe button and grab the link to this episode and share it with three of your friends that maybe you've had this conversation before about body image and about showing up fully embodied. And you can just grab the link to the episode, send it to them on text, make it nice and easy. And hey, if you've been loving the show, if you've been loving the guests and everything that you've been learning by following us, make sure you take 30 seconds to leave us a review.

because those reviews really help new listeners decide whether they want to spend time with us. And if you do find it to be worth their while, then that is a 30 second thank you that we cannot thank you enough for. So we will see you on our next show. And in the meantime, make sure you do what matters.